Why I'll Never Move Back to the US After Living in Europe plus Travel Woes and Solutions

Back in Europe

Nov 30, 2024

white red and green map — Photo by Christian Lue on Unsplash

Listen the the author read the audio version here (with ad libs!)

A Quick Intro

Hi, I’m Kimberly Anne and thrilled to be writing these articles for you. If you don’t know my background: I relocated alone from San Francisco to Portugal in September 2022, sight unseen and without a built-in support system. Before that, I spent a year traveling solo across the U.S., living in a van. I’m also a published indie author with over 30 novels. I recently started a lifestyle publication on Substack as well called an Unscripted Life for whatever doesn’t fit into the travel arena. I hope you find value in my newsletter!

I recently visited the US after living in Portugal for two years and there are so many reasons why I’ll never return…

First of all, I was on high alert the entire time I was there. This was from being exposed 24/7 to an unsafe environment. From the ever-rising *homeless population to the constant fear-mongering from the news, to the drama and fears of my own family members.

Coming back home to Europe has felt like a nervous system reset. As I wrote in a previous article, I align more with the values of Europe. It’s here that I can finally let out a long-held breath and relax.

Some shocking things that happened during my visit to Los Angeles.

A homeless man threw something hard at my car window while I was at a stoplight.
A man was openly watching porn in the Studio City public library and when I reported it, I was told it was legal. I pressed, so the manager confronted the man by asking, “is this for research?” The man left.
Drivers in Los Angeles are so aggressive, they make aggressive Portuguese drivers look like docile kittens.
It was colder (50-55f = 10-13c) inside my Los Angeles home exchange with the heat cranked up than it is inside my Porto apartment without heat (67-72f = 19-21c).
I sat in 1.5 to 2.5 hours of traffic at 10am to drive 8 miles (13km).
During my 3 weeks in LA, I spent 3 hours minimum sitting in traffic each day (to drive 5-10 miles = 8-16km) but most days it was closer to 5 hours. This included driving at night, early in the morning and mid-day.

The first time I returned to the US after living in Europe for more than a year, I was hit with “reverse culture shock” but this time I knew what to expect (somewhat).

However, the traffic, aggression and homelessness was worse than last year. There are tents on most streets near downtown. There is trash everywhere, littering the sidewalks and streets. The sidewalks in most areas are stained black and brown.

Every time I visit the US, it makes me love Europe even more.

My time there was mixed. I’ve chosen not to write too many details about my family dysfunction, but it absolutely puts a huge damper on my visits (as well as my life).

I was able to see some very good friends, which were the highlight. But I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted to, and I wasn’t able to spend as much time with people as I’d have liked to.

Due to the difficulties of being there, I decided to make my main focus about food. I ate Korean, Japanese and Ethiopian with friends and family. One of my oldest friends cooked for me, and he’s the best chef I’ve ever known. Plus I shopped at Trader Joes and gorged on all my favs. I allowed myself a 5kg gain, but ended up only gaining 1.5!

The trip, though it contained a lot of strife, was easier in some ways. It was easier to navigate and compartmentalize the negatives. If I had a choice to remove those negatives from my life forever, I would. But sometimes we can’t do that.

Self-care is huge when it comes to managing negative people we can’t chuck. Knowing in advance what drama I’d encounter there, I booked sessions upon my return with my: personal trainer, massage therapist and psychotherapist. I also planned and took a day full day off to sleep. It was glorious.

The Budgeting Aspect

I spent less money traveling back to the US this time and here’s how:

I used frequent flyer miles to “buy” my RT plane ticket. Learn how you can do that here.
I stayed with a good friend for a week.
He lent me his car (for a week)!
I stayed in a fantastic home exchange (through Kindred) for my second week. It even came with a cuddly kitty!
I used Turo for my second week car rental.
I went to Trader Joe’s (fancy market with cheap prices) and bought three bags of groceries for $100.

The Flight

I want to cover the flights too because traveling/flying is such a huge part of travel and it’s often the worst part. For me, as already stated, dealing with some difficult personalities in the US is always the worst part but the flight home was quite challenging as well. And the only way for me to get past something is to acknowledge it, talk about it, find the positive or solutions and move on.

The difficulty began when Iberia’s entire computer system went down worldwide. I arrived at the airport three hours early and was the third person in line. But it took two hours of standing and waiting at the counter before I got my boarding pass and could go through security. The positives of this experience were: I wasn’t charged extra for two bags. I wasn’t charged extra for one overweight bag or told to empty it. I got to eat an entire bag of Trader Joe’s popcorn while waiting. The Iberia staff was super nice!

Solution: Check in online the night before. Even the people who waited until they arrived at the airport to check in online couldn’t. But I met a lovely couple who didn’t wait at all because they were able to check in online the previous night. I couldn’t do that because I was traveling with extra baggage and check-in luggage.

aerial photography of airliner — Photo by Ross Parmly on Unsplash

On the Plane

Once on the plane, the person who sat next to me, while very nice, took up part of my seat and half of my leg room. They don’t give you enough room in coach as is, so it was extremely uncomfortable instead of partly uncomfortable. My biggest pet peeve is sitting in front of a kicking child and sadly, this happened as well… he kicked and slammed his hand into the screen on the back of my seat to play video games—for 11 straight hours.

On my flight to the US I sat in front of a screaming cat and behind an incessant farter. The cat meowed and wailed for the first four hours, then intermittently for the remainder of the flight. The farter never stopped farting.

Solutions: wearing a mask helped a bit with the farter. Noise cancelation ear phones helped a little with the screaming cat. I had to play music quite loudly to cover the sound and even then I could still hear it. I didn’t find any solutions for the seat stealer or the kicking child besides dubbing him “satan’s spawn” in my head.

Layover

The layover in Madrid was unpleasant at best. Airport staff, like the hospital staff in Porto’s public hospital, seem to have misplaced their empathy. Travelers too were very different. People traveling in the US, even when harried, were all exceptionally kind. Sadly, once I arrived in Spain, I was greeted with hostility and rudeness from both the staff and other passengers. This surprised me, as I had expected the opposite. Due to harassment from the staff, I almost missed my connecting flight. I was third from last to board, and the plane was full and waiting for us. I really appreciate the fact that Iberia waited!

In Porto

My luggage stayed in Madrid (my layover). I assumed this would happen. There hasn’t been a single time that my luggage hasn’t been “lost” on a flight back to Porto.

Solution: Trackers in your luggage. I used one apple air tag and one tile. I used the Tile because I had an old one. I won’t buy another as the battery didn’t last as long and can’t be replaced on some of them, but they’re still quite good. I just checked and the tiles now have a three year battery life. I will continue using the apple air tags, but use whatever you want, as long as you use something! This way I didn’t have to stand at baggage claim and wait for another hour to see that my luggage did not travel with me. I simply checked the trackers and moved to the claim line.

Also: as my good friend Tricia pointed out, when they lose your luggage (as long as they find it again), they bring it to your house and carry it upstairs, which is a huge plus! And this was absolutely true in my case since I could barely lift my larger bag.

Customs Fees

I carried back a photograph that was hanging on the wall of our house from when I was a kid. We had it wrapped up to carry on the plane and I called ahead to get permission. They were supposed to charge me extra for the carry on, but because of the system SNAFU they didn’t. It was a small struggle to carry it, especially with a layover where I almost missed the flight.

So… after all of the drama I was stopped by customs in Portugal (where I have residency) and made to unwrap the photograph. This took over thirty minutes and two exacto knives. The security agents were very nice though and this somewhat made up for the inconvenience.

The reason they tore open my artwork is because in Portugal if an item is over €430 they will charge you a customs duty fee + VAT (value added tax). The percentage of the import tax fees vary but generally end up being 25-32% of the item’s price after €430. I did not know this.

They were hoping the artwork was from a famous artist and they could charge me €€€. They told me this and searched for the name of the artist and the particular photograph online. Luckily, they didn’t find anything or charge me extra, because it’s not famous!

They did tell me about a passenger the week before, from the UK, who brought over a violin worth €80,000. According to my research, they would have charged this guy €22,279.60 in customs fees and VAT for something he already paid for and owns! If it were me, I’d have bought a return ticket to the UK instead.

Apparently there are a few reasons why countries charge these fees. If you’re interested in knowing, you can find them here.

Broken Suitcase

When my suitcases were returned, my large suitcase was destroyed. There were three major cracks which opened into large holes through the plastic. With the damage it sustained, I’m surprised it didn’t completely fall apart. While it was a cheap/er suitcase from Ross, it was still $100 and only lasted two trips! Iberia is supposed to compensate me but, after filing three claims and calling four times, it looks like they never will. The option I was offered was to get a replacement suitcase, but I had already bought a **Travelpro suitcase which won’t break and I don’t need another cheap one. I filed another claim seven days ago, asking Iberia for a refund of $100 instead and unsurprisingly, haven’t heard back.

Luggage and Solutions

When I left Portugal I packed a smaller carry on with all my clothes and toiletries and placed it inside a large suitcase, which I checked at the airport.

That way I didn’t have to pay extra. The plan was to fill the large suitcase with items to bring back, check that and carry on the smaller one. While I did check the large one, because of the extra carry on photograph, they also permitted me to check the smaller one without an additional fee. If Iberia’s system hadn’t been down when I checked in, I would have incurred an additional €300 for my extra luggage + my overweight bag.

*Homeless in the US: I had an ESL student last week as me if the homeless population in the US were mostly immigrants. This question surprised me, but with all the negative hype surrounding immigrants in the US, it shouldn’t have. According to my research, immigrants make up 10% to 27% of the national homeless population in America. This means that the majority of homeless people are native US citizens.

**Travelpro — a good friend of mine who travels 2 times a month swears by this brand. Apparently it’s what all the people who work at the airlines use. His has lasted for 20 years on more trips than he can count. I’d rather pay a little more for something that’s going to last. In the past I’ve purchased five $100 suitcases from Ross and they all broke. For significantly less (during Travelpro’s black friday sale and with a signup discount) I was able to purchase one that will last. I hate throwing plastic into landfill and I hate throwing away money, so this was my solution.

Travelpro US link

Travelpro Europe link

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Part 1—Want to move abroad? Start here!
Part 2—Conquer your fears about moving abroad!
Part 3—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 1
Part 4—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 2
Part 5—A Personal Case study (re: Minimizing)
Part 6—Your Move Abroad: The Ultimate Checklist
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