The First Six Months as an Expat...
The First Six Months as an Expat...
While I can’t tell you what this may look like for you exactly, I can tell you what it looked like for me and I’m confident my mistakes and learning can help you.
I’m a US citizen who has traveled extensively throughout the world but never lived in another country until my mid 50’s.
A Hard Landing
My “landing” was also a little different because I didn’t have a place to live for the first four months which made a lot of things more challenging, but also more exciting. I may discuss what those four months were like in another post but in this one I’ll discuss what happened around that.
When I landed in my apartment in Porto, Portugal I spent the first six months getting to know my neighborhood. I didn’t sightsee or do any touristy things because I was focused on day-to-day living and integration. This is not to say that you should do the same. I encourage everyone to find what works for them. This is what worked for me.
The most challenging experiences for me were finding grocery stores and discovering where to buy furniture for my unfurnished apartment. The furniture situation was so difficult that I wrote a blog post about it, if you want more information—> click here.
Grocery stores
I had no idea what to even look for! I didn’t know the names of any grocery stores. I didn’t understand that there are major supermarkets verses smaller “convenience type” stores. I didn’t know that some deliver, some have special cards for discounts, some have apps or even that each one sells different items.
It took about six months to learn the names of most, not all, of the grocery stores and find out where they were located. I did know about the frutarias, local places where they sell fruits and vegetables and I ended up buying all my produce at one or another. There are so many, they’re easily marked and easy to find.
Google Maps + a Translator = Actual Help!
In case you’re new to Portugal you can check google maps for “supermercado” or look for these market names: Lidl, Continente, Mercadona, Pingo Doce, Auchan, Intermarche and El Corte Inglés. There are others but these are the main ones in Portugal. There are also speciality stores, especially in the Algarve that sell British food, etc. There are specific markets that sell Indian groceries (type Indian Grocery Store into google maps) and others that sell organic (type Bio in google maps), etc. And in Porto there is Mercado do Bolhão which is kind of like a “farmer’s market” that’s open certain hours during the week and has many booths with a number of options. Even as a tourist, you may want to visit, it’s fantastic.
Delivery
For delivery, there’s Continente and Auchan. You can order online from either. Or you can use an app called “Glovo” to get delivery from pretty much anywhere. This is very convenient if you live in a six story walk-up and need a lot of heavy items or if you’ve hurt yourself and can’t walk or lift anything. I mention this in particular because it happened to me.
Relating to People Back Home
One thing that surprised me, but shouldn’t have, is that 99.9% of your peers who haven’t done this, probably won’t understand. Living in a foreign country, without speaking the language can be incredibly isolating. Not isolating from other people who live here but isolating from your old friends and family.
Most people from my past can only think of one thing to ask me which is, “how’s your Portuguese coming”. This is not a conversation starter. And if you know someone who’s moved to another country where they have to learn a new language, I beg you not to ask this question!!!
It makes us feel bad. I know that’s not the intention but it’s what happens. We are trying to learn a new language yes, but we are also trying to integrate into a completely new culture and find a market to buy food! Everything is completely different here, even how we pay rent and bills. So worrying about language learning when we don’t even know how to walk down a calçada street without falling on your face (whether by tripping over the uneven surface or sliding and falling when it’s wet) is a higher priority.
It’s not a simple answer. It can’t be answered with: “my Portuguese is coming along great” or “I’m struggling”. It’s going to be somewhere in between; shades of gray. Plus, we are our own worst judges in terms of our advancement. For example the best student in our class is so far beyond the rest of us, language wise, that our teacher, on two separate occasions, asked her to teach the class. The student does this flawlessly but when we talk to her about her amazing progression, she thinks she’s doing quite poorly. Our perceptions are clearly flawed when it comes to judging ourselves on something that we don’t feel confident about.
It’s not something we want to talk about. Language learning is a very personal journey. And it’s very intense. If I’ve been studying for five hours a day, the last thing I want to do is talk about my language learning with someone who doesn’t know the language, or speaks a different language from the one I’m learning. Or try to explain to someone who has never studied a language extensively, in a country where they don’t speak the language. It’s an uncomfortable topic all around.
There are many more bits and pieces, but that’s the crux.
However, I will be writing another blog post on how and where to learn European Portuguese. This is for those who are interested in starting sooner, rather than later; which I encourage you to do.
Navigating Health Care
While there is free health care here (for residents), there’s also private healthcare that’s quite affordable.
I learned about navigating the system the hard way when I broke my fingers. I went to the emergency hospital, had two surgeries and still, a year later, do not have full use of my hand. You can find that specific post —> here.
What did help was hiring a health concierge service that’s offered here for €250 a year. They call your healthcare provider or talk to hospital staff for you, in Portuguese, and then explain what to do and what’s happening to you, in English. They also have a doctor on staff that can write prescriptions. This was crucial in my case as after I broke my fingers and was refused painkillers when my pain scale was a fifteen on the one to ten scale; the Serenity doctor was able to call in a prescription to my local pharmacy.
At Serenity, you will be assigned a personal health care advocate who can help with a lot of health related issues. Such as finding private insurance, making doctor’s appointments, finding specialists, etc. It was invaluable for me my first year here. For example: last month I needed an immediate appointment with a specialist and my Serenity advocate booked one for me the next day.
Serenity can be found here (I’m not an affiliate).
The Language Barrier
We are so far ahead of people who moved here before the internet. My sister, for example, moved to France in the 90’s. She had the advantage over me, in that she already spoke French fluently and moved with a French boyfriend. But it took her over a year to find a community of friends. There was no Meetup or Facebook. And for those who don’t speak the language, there was no google translate or google camera. Google camera (translator) is what I used at the markets (once I found them) when I arrived. It wasn’t perfect, I still bought the wrong items at times but it helped—a lot! Still, everything takes longer and patience helps! I am not a person with a ton of patience so if I can do it… so can you!
Finding Community
I’ve written an entire blog post about this. You can find it —> here. While I admit I wasn’t worried about this aspect, it was lovely to find out it’s easier than I imagined. What did surprise me is the effort most people make to include one another. Community is a must and I started connecting with people as soon as I arrived. I met some through friends in Facebook groups and others through an online Portuguese class I was taking. An important reminder and lesson for me was, just like in my original country, friends abroad will come and go as well. Things change, and people change. Some will move, others will fall away.
Remember, you’re reinventing yourself. You’ll most likely discover new aspects of yourself. And hopefully, in the process you’ll become a new and better version of who you were always meant to be, or who you’ve always wanted to become.
Please go easy on yourself during this momentous time of transition! Embrace your childlike wonder, astonishment and learning excitement. This is the beginning of your new adventure!
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