Living Abroad After Two Years!

A Solo, Female, US Expat in Portugal

Photo of Author in Porto, by Margarita Urzúa

You can listen to the author reading this article here, with some fun ad-libs thrown in.

Quick Summary

I previously wrote an article about what my first six months of living abroad were like. You can find that here.

If you don’t know my background, a quick summary is that I moved from Northern California (San Francisco) to Portugal in September of 2022. I moved here by myself (solo), sight unseen, without a support group, basically not knowing anyone. Prior to that I lived in a van and traversed the United States for one year, also solo.

If you want to know why or how I ended up in Portugal, you can check out that post here.

And now onto the protein of this post.

I am not a person who has ever had a “pink cloud” or “pink bubble”.

I’m an optimist by nature and do my best to avoid negative thinking—read some ways to do that here.

However, life on life’s terms is not always a soft, fragrant bed of roses because… roses also have thorns.

When I first moved to Portugal I was inundated by other expats who were in their second year of living here telling me that the “newness and excitement” wears off.

They described their first year as a vacation, floating upon a pink cloud. And now, they all felt, reality was settling in and it wasn’t as pretty or as fun or as exciting as their first year.

I did not have that experience, more on why in a bit.

The important part is that now, two years later—I love Portugal more each and every day. 

I learn something new each day and keep falling in love with the culture, the people (mostly) and the city I live in. I have zero regrets about living here. The discoveries are endless. The differences are endless. I could spend an entire day talking about the differences between here and the US and most of them are better here.

Will I stay in Portugal “forever”? 

I don’t believe in forever. I believe in “just for now”. I hope and plan to stay for at least five more years. If it continues to rain for nine months out of every year I will have to reconsider some things and have some ideas about that. But I do know for sure that I never want to live in the United States again. If I leave Portugal, I may travel as a digital nomad again to discover other locations and cultures. Or perhaps I will move elsewhere in Europe or Asia.

I did start dating someone recently, which is new for me as I’ve been happily single, by choice, for over four years. This person lives in Galicia Spain (and is Spanish). They don’t live too far from Porto and enjoy coming here regularly to visit. We both like the distance, which is also new for me. It’s my first long/ish distance relationship and it’s working quite nicely. For now.

Knowing what I know now, if I had to do it over again from the beginning, would I choose Portugal?

No, I would not. I’d choose Spain although… when I moved to Portugal in 2022 they were offering the NHR which was a Non-Habitual Resident tax break for ten years. This means I don’t have to pay taxes for ten years. And… taxes in Portugal are high. I still pay taxes in the US because the only two countries that require you to file, even if you no longer live there are the US and Eritrea. And now the NHR in Portugal is no longer being offered.

The point being if I had to decide right now between Portugal and Spain, I’d choose Spain for several reasons.

1. The weather is better.

2. The cost is almost the same and even lower in some places (not in major cities like Madrid or Barcelona).

3. It’s larger and there’s more to explore/more options.

4. The language is much easier and more people (in the rest of the world) speak Spanish over Portuguese.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t love Portugal with all my heart and I’m not thrilled beyond belief to be here. Because I do and I am.

The Difference Between Now and When I First Arrived

I had never lived outside of California and when I arrived here I couldn’t even find a grocery store. I couldn’t make sense of any Portuguese words so if someone told me about a market, I couldn’t even parse the name. Even the wall sockets alluded me and I could not figure out how to plug anything in without pounding on it and screaming.

I mention all of this because, if you’re having issues, or you’re afraid to move across the world or to a new country I want you to know you’re not alone. 

I will never say it’s easy but I will always say it’s worth it.

If there’s anyone in your life that’s negative and berates you for not knowing how to plug something in or not knowing the name of a street or a square, or not knowing how to navigate the metro or not knowing how to take out your trash or ANYTHING, please unfriend that person immediately. 

I say this because that’s exactly what happened to me and it made my first year a lot harder than it should have been. This person was my first expat “friend” here and they were incredibly mean to me and constantly put me down—for not knowing things and also when I had a traumatic accident that required two surgeries. This made my transition a lot more difficult. If I had met someone who was kind and helpful, things would have been easier.

Happily, I did eventually meet many kind and helpful people and they have been instrumental in my happiness here. I have an article on finding community, with my own case study.

I remember when my sister moved to Paris thirty years ago and told me the first year was the hardest for her as well. But this was because there was no internet and thus no way to find community. And she was fluent in the language so she had that advantage. 

What Else Made my First Year in Portugal Difficult

I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating because life is life and sometimes it bites you in the bum.

• I had nowhere to live for 4 months.

• My dog was sick.

• My dog died.

• My best friend committed suicide.

• I burnt my entire left hand and couldn’t use it for 2 months.

• As soon as that healed, I broke 2 fingers on my left hand, developed Sudeck Syndrome (which is bone atrophy) and lost complete use of my left hand for a year. It’s still not fully healed and may never be.

This all happened during my first nine months in Portugal. Could it have been even worse? Absolutely! But it was bad and thus I didn’t really get to explore my surroundings or do much other than stay home and try to get better.

During my entire second year here, it rained. It rained for nine straight months. And not just any kind of rain. This was pouring rain with strong winds that turned your umbrella inside out and soaked through multiple layers of clothing. I lost four umbrellas and three pairs of rain-boots that all sprung leaks. It wouldn’t have mattered quite as much if I hadn’t adopted a rescue puppy who needed constant walking. And is now, the absolute love and joy of my life!

See, life on life’s terms, no matter what.

And still… I adore living here and wouldn’t change it, or trade it for anything.

Moving to a new country is not easy, I won’t lie. But it’s rewarding and exciting and beautiful. It’s exceeded my expectations. It’s ignited my heart and soul.

I’m not saying my experience or anyone else’s will be the same for you, because it won’t. No matter what, it will be different. But it will, most likely, be challenging and stretch you in ways you could never imagine. It will make you a better person, more resilient, more tolerant and it will completely expand your mind!

If you’re considering moving abroad I have a series of articles to help. You can start here.

I’m also developing a class to help people move abroad that I plan to release at the end of October.

Resources in this article:

First Six Months of Living Abroad

How/Why I Ended up in Portugal

Solutions to the Negativity Loop

Trauma Healthcare Abroad

Finding Community Abroad

Learning Portuguese

Archive of all my Articles and Podcast Episodes

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Your support (in all ways) is greatly appreciated! 

—Expat on a Budget AKA Living Abroad on a Budget and My Unknown Adventure by Kimberly Anne