I am having to flee Los Angeles due to the wildfires and toxic air affecting my already existing long COVID respiratory issues. I am so heartbroken in so many ways, and yeti I am using or at an opportunity to explore a curiosity I’ve held my whole life: to live in Europe. I fly home to DC on 1/22 to drop my cat off with my mom (another heartbreak), and then on 1/31 to base from London for the first 6 months. Per usual, your writing is giving me full confidence verging on excitement to finally be taking this step.
Hi Ally, thank you so much for your comments and I'm SO SORRY to hear that you're suffering and have to leave your cat for now. But sometimes things like these are the unexpected push we needed.
I am so excited to hear about your new life and can't wait to hear more when you're a little settled!!! BIG HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Truly is wild how desensitized we are (in America) to majority of these issues - Cost of living, safety & health)
We had such an eye opening moment walking around in Japan where our shoulders were so loose, nervous system was the most relaxed we’ve ever felt and looked at each other like.. whoa
Hi Kenny, yeah it's wild and devastating, right?! But it also makes sense. If we haven't experienced another way of life, we don't know there is one--theoretically we may know, but don't really KNOW.
I love hearing how tranquil you felt in Japan!! Even Tokyo is more affordable than Los Angeles, SF or NYC.
it isnt purely fear but an overall sense of anxiety in the air (in the states) with guns, crimes etc.
Wifey and I lived (truly lived, bought a car and lived a local life) for a year - and yes, of course if you're looking for trouble, it's easy to find; but for us, it felt very safe.
We currently live in Hawaii now - a much slower pace, sunshine and beach next door.
Oh that's wonderful to hear--that you lived there for a year and loved it and that you're now in Hawaii! It's a magical place and yes much slower paced but soooo pricey!!!
That's a really good point about not having that feeling/sense of anxiety that's so prevalent in our lives in the US.
Oh wow! I guess it's just $ for tourists! That's a very low tax rate!! Which island are you on? Ohhh that's right, I remember now that you need to wait for her citizenship!! What a wonderful place to wait :) If you love islands, I hear Tenerife is great (haven't been but it came up as #1 for expats for awhile) and here in Portugal is Madeira. Of course there are lots of other amazing places. I can't wait to hear where you go next!!!
Hi Ororo, yes I understand, not 100% as I can't since I'm not a POC, but partly. I never felt safe as a female in the US but I did feel safer as part of the LGBTQ+ community in California. Look up CR on travel safe abroad: https://www.travelsafe-abroad.com/costa-rica/ --- I'm not sure I completely agree with their assessment as I looked up the US and it got a great score LOL
Gosh, I’ve had a LOT of living life experience in the USA/mostly in Texas, yet am surprised at some of the totally justified reasons you moved on internationally.
I’ll be subscribing to some of your other areas of experience, plus this specific one. I’m a Family Therapist by formal education/training and a business coach by also education, training and a zillion hours of client-experience in both.
Now - partly for similar to your own reasons - stated fiscally, I’ve had a very good ‘health’ diagnosis to prep for a well-life (organ-wise) to be comfortably here physically until age 104. Since that has been repeated by excellent physicians every year through 2024, I’m finally taking it seriously as to WHERE is life happily happening, including as daily affordable for ME with existing monthly income.
Colleagues/friends plus a family-visit with my (now grown) kiddos - pointed to Ajijic, Mexico - outside of Guadalajara/Jalisco, Mexico on Lake Chapala, backgrounded by mountains and year-round almost perfect weather.
The natural beauty in this village of 11,000, plus the Seasonal influx of (mostly) Canadian/USA expats - but mostly the village culture, cuisine, history, art, and welcoming nature, solidified where I want to also become an expat for future exploration.
Hi Sherry!!!!! Wow! Thank you so much for your comment and sharing a little about you. I love, love, love your positive health diagnoses and your wonderful experiences as a Family Therapist and Business Coach!! Those are both transferable if you need to keep working once you move.
I've heard wonderful things about Ajijic Mexico as well. I haven't been there but I know there are a lot of expats there and I had a patient who planned to move there.
The way you describe it, sounds absolutely perfect!! I can't wait to hear about your experiences there!!! :)
I’m curious, when did you move to Portugal? I understand the safety issue and have some stories to tell as well. I’m glad to no longer anticipate garnering more of them.
Hi John, I moved here in 2022. I've heard from many Portuguese that there were areas here that were extremely unsafe 10-15 years ago. And as with everything, things change and will change again!
This is one part in this series of articles I (fortunately) don't feel the same as you. I've lived in rural and large cities here in the US and the only issues experienced were in well-known bad neighborhoods.
Until recently I worked in the a city that has a violent crime rate of 69 out of 100. One of the worst in the country. I dealt in the backroom of a bowling alley smack dab in the middle of the 'hood. I never felt threatened or the need to fear for my life. That being said I also didn't run around exposing myself either.
When I first moved the the area I was warned to streets "with four letters" - it scared me until one day I needed to find a post office, the only one near was, you guessed it, on a four-letter street. I defied the warning and did my business.
Since then I found what I needed in safer places.
Believe it or not I worry more about tornadoes and fires. I've been through a lot of hurricanes and a few earthquakes, not on my hit parade, but again, I try to follow safety protocol.
One of my biggest fears in moving out of the country is how I would be in a natural disaster. Here I know what and how to go about preparedness. I wouldn't know what to do in another country, especially not being savvy to the language. So this is something I'm paying attention to to while researching.
Total coincidence but last week I googled safest countries for women. America was 37 and Canada was 17 at least on that specific list. 17 is better but I think getting closer to the top should be promoted more. The only benefit of the current border dispute with the US is that hopefully fewer guns will come north and men and women will be safer.
I have long thought that America was founded in more violence than most developed countries recent history. Of course, France had a violent revolution but without googling that was much earlier and may have been less violent. Canada did some paperwork with England and slowly moved on. There was violence of course but not on the level of the US civil war or the violence of the slave trade that carried on far too long. The widespread ownership of guns leads to more people feeling they need guns and it spirals from there. A running FB group I'm in often has Americans talking about running with guns! Completely foreign to most of the world.
Hi Chris, thank you for this!! It's so interesting to hear your perspective as Americans grew up with guns being normalized (encouraged even), though gun violence has escalated exponentially.
And you're right of course about America's bloody, violent and racist past. It's almost unfathomable and yet... again, we just take it, like it's normal.
We may have more in common with ancient civilizations than we thought (in the ways of violence) :(
Being unsafe is normalized. I’m glad I was able to live in China and experience being out after dark in a major city and not being afraid. Like even at 2 am, I was safe. And other cities around the world aren’t perfect, but I’ve never had to be as aware and on-the-ready as I had to in the US.
WILD that that man said that to you when you were out with a group of friends.
I love hearing how safe you felt in China. I spent a bit of time there and also felt very safe!! Yeah, the issues in the US are heartbreaking. And I agree, it was super weird that guy got so close to me, so quickly!!! Made me very aware after that though!!!
Amen sister! Walking alone down the highway in the middle of the night with no one around in Krabi Thailand felt safer than anywhere in the US at any time of day or night when you know anyone can literally shoot you for anything and get away with it - even in your own home if you're trying to defend yourself (i.e. one of many examples: https://www.gilmanbedigian.com/man-who-shot-intruder-in-his-home-sued-for-wrongful-death/).
I lived in Maryland most of my life and whenever we went down to Baltimore to see the Orioles play my parents were always on edge. I've lived in Mexico City for 4 years now and I feel loads safer here than I ever did in Baltimore. Some of the stories you wrote about here are horrific. Many foreigners I talk to bring up gun violence when talking about the states. They have a point.
Hi Tom!!! Thank you so much for your comment!!! I LOVE that you're living in Mexico City and thriving there!!! We're led to believe (in the US) that Mexico is super dangerous but the US is much more so. Yeah the gun violence in the US is really off the charts though I constantly have to remind myself that it's a much larger country than many other with a much larger population. I mean, you can fit 2.5 Portugals in 1 California... And yes, unfortunately, I have a slew of horror stories and even more if I include friend's horror stories but... we survived and we learned and we grew and we escaped!
I did not know that about Baltimore as I've never been there but sadly I'm not surprised to hear that :( Have your parents visited you in Mexico? How do they feel about you living there?
Hey Kimberly! My parents are fine with it! :) They visited me here a few times and got to see that this city really isn’t unsafe for the most part. I’m happy they took the trip. I too find it sad that so many Americans think Mexico is dangerous. I told an American I lived in Mexico City today and the first thing they asked me was whether it was dangerous. Man, the news really put the fear of God in them about Mexico I suppose. It’s a fine country. Bad parts, sure, but every country has them! :)
So pleased to hear you now live day to day feeling safe. The safest countries and cities list is fascinating reading, especially when so often we are told that travelling is dangerous, certainly more dangerous than staying in our home countries when in fact the data suggests quite firmly otherwise!
Hi Lauren, thank you so much for your comment!! Yes, fear is a big thing in the US, it keeps us complacent. I worked for a short time in TV news and it's part of what you have to sell. I see how it affects people like my 86 yo mother who is afraid to leave her house much of the time. She watches the news for hours each day and it just feeds the fear. I've also traveled solo for 22 years all over the world (not everywhere) and have never felt as unsafe as I do in the US. Do you feel the same way in France?
Yes absolutely, just reflecting on the differences between living rurally in England and France. In England the gates always locked, motion sensor lights and increasingly cctv. In France we didn’t have so much as a perimeter fence let alone a gate! It’s been years since I have been to the US so I can’t compare but the news and stats certainly make it feel very scary!
Oh that's super interesting about rural England vs rural France! I have to update my article on Portugal because now there are some muggings happening at a local park at night, committed by the same 5 Portuguese boys (threatening people at knifepoint) and the police refuse to do anything :( But it's still much scarier in the US!
I hope you don't have to deal with any of this drama anymore!
I am having to flee Los Angeles due to the wildfires and toxic air affecting my already existing long COVID respiratory issues. I am so heartbroken in so many ways, and yeti I am using or at an opportunity to explore a curiosity I’ve held my whole life: to live in Europe. I fly home to DC on 1/22 to drop my cat off with my mom (another heartbreak), and then on 1/31 to base from London for the first 6 months. Per usual, your writing is giving me full confidence verging on excitement to finally be taking this step.
Hi Ally, thank you so much for your comments and I'm SO SORRY to hear that you're suffering and have to leave your cat for now. But sometimes things like these are the unexpected push we needed.
I am so excited to hear about your new life and can't wait to hear more when you're a little settled!!! BIG HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will also be in Portugal as I’m launching a luxury sex positive nightlife event there in the summer.
That sounds amazing! I'd love to hear more about it :)
Shoot me a DM for more info 😉
Truly is wild how desensitized we are (in America) to majority of these issues - Cost of living, safety & health)
We had such an eye opening moment walking around in Japan where our shoulders were so loose, nervous system was the most relaxed we’ve ever felt and looked at each other like.. whoa
Is this what not being anxious feels like?
Hi Kenny, yeah it's wild and devastating, right?! But it also makes sense. If we haven't experienced another way of life, we don't know there is one--theoretically we may know, but don't really KNOW.
I love hearing how tranquil you felt in Japan!! Even Tokyo is more affordable than Los Angeles, SF or NYC.
I hope you get to experience more tranquility :)
Totally!
it isnt purely fear but an overall sense of anxiety in the air (in the states) with guns, crimes etc.
Wifey and I lived (truly lived, bought a car and lived a local life) for a year - and yes, of course if you're looking for trouble, it's easy to find; but for us, it felt very safe.
We currently live in Hawaii now - a much slower pace, sunshine and beach next door.
all is good :)
Oh that's wonderful to hear--that you lived there for a year and loved it and that you're now in Hawaii! It's a magical place and yes much slower paced but soooo pricey!!!
That's a really good point about not having that feeling/sense of anxiety that's so prevalent in our lives in the US.
shhh, don't tell anybody but it's cheaper than LA/Bay :)
tax is 4.2%
we're not here for long, waiting for wifey (italian) to finish her citizenship then we'll prob head out to asia or join you in portugal!
Oh wow! I guess it's just $ for tourists! That's a very low tax rate!! Which island are you on? Ohhh that's right, I remember now that you need to wait for her citizenship!! What a wonderful place to wait :) If you love islands, I hear Tenerife is great (haven't been but it came up as #1 for expats for awhile) and here in Portugal is Madeira. Of course there are lots of other amazing places. I can't wait to hear where you go next!!!
This is disheartening, but not surprising. As a female POC--but also a solo--safety is definitely the reason I want to leave the US.
Hi Ororo, yes I understand, not 100% as I can't since I'm not a POC, but partly. I never felt safe as a female in the US but I did feel safer as part of the LGBTQ+ community in California. Look up CR on travel safe abroad: https://www.travelsafe-abroad.com/costa-rica/ --- I'm not sure I completely agree with their assessment as I looked up the US and it got a great score LOL
Gosh, I’ve had a LOT of living life experience in the USA/mostly in Texas, yet am surprised at some of the totally justified reasons you moved on internationally.
I’ll be subscribing to some of your other areas of experience, plus this specific one. I’m a Family Therapist by formal education/training and a business coach by also education, training and a zillion hours of client-experience in both.
Now - partly for similar to your own reasons - stated fiscally, I’ve had a very good ‘health’ diagnosis to prep for a well-life (organ-wise) to be comfortably here physically until age 104. Since that has been repeated by excellent physicians every year through 2024, I’m finally taking it seriously as to WHERE is life happily happening, including as daily affordable for ME with existing monthly income.
Colleagues/friends plus a family-visit with my (now grown) kiddos - pointed to Ajijic, Mexico - outside of Guadalajara/Jalisco, Mexico on Lake Chapala, backgrounded by mountains and year-round almost perfect weather.
The natural beauty in this village of 11,000, plus the Seasonal influx of (mostly) Canadian/USA expats - but mostly the village culture, cuisine, history, art, and welcoming nature, solidified where I want to also become an expat for future exploration.
Hi Sherry!!!!! Wow! Thank you so much for your comment and sharing a little about you. I love, love, love your positive health diagnoses and your wonderful experiences as a Family Therapist and Business Coach!! Those are both transferable if you need to keep working once you move.
I've heard wonderful things about Ajijic Mexico as well. I haven't been there but I know there are a lot of expats there and I had a patient who planned to move there.
The way you describe it, sounds absolutely perfect!! I can't wait to hear about your experiences there!!! :)
Thank you for sharing! I haven’t read all of your articles - but I will do.
Hi Catherine, thank you so much!!!!!
I’m curious, when did you move to Portugal? I understand the safety issue and have some stories to tell as well. I’m glad to no longer anticipate garnering more of them.
Hi John, I moved here in 2022. I've heard from many Portuguese that there were areas here that were extremely unsafe 10-15 years ago. And as with everything, things change and will change again!
This is one part in this series of articles I (fortunately) don't feel the same as you. I've lived in rural and large cities here in the US and the only issues experienced were in well-known bad neighborhoods.
Until recently I worked in the a city that has a violent crime rate of 69 out of 100. One of the worst in the country. I dealt in the backroom of a bowling alley smack dab in the middle of the 'hood. I never felt threatened or the need to fear for my life. That being said I also didn't run around exposing myself either.
When I first moved the the area I was warned to streets "with four letters" - it scared me until one day I needed to find a post office, the only one near was, you guessed it, on a four-letter street. I defied the warning and did my business.
Since then I found what I needed in safer places.
Believe it or not I worry more about tornadoes and fires. I've been through a lot of hurricanes and a few earthquakes, not on my hit parade, but again, I try to follow safety protocol.
One of my biggest fears in moving out of the country is how I would be in a natural disaster. Here I know what and how to go about preparedness. I wouldn't know what to do in another country, especially not being savvy to the language. So this is something I'm paying attention to to while researching.
Hi Patti, I'm so happy to hear you haven't felt unsafe in areas that were deemed unsafe in the US! That's really great!!
But yes, I can only report on what I encountered, which, unfortunately, was not good :(
Re: natural disasters, you'll have to research and see which ones can happen in which areas but that's easy enough information to find!
Total coincidence but last week I googled safest countries for women. America was 37 and Canada was 17 at least on that specific list. 17 is better but I think getting closer to the top should be promoted more. The only benefit of the current border dispute with the US is that hopefully fewer guns will come north and men and women will be safer.
I have long thought that America was founded in more violence than most developed countries recent history. Of course, France had a violent revolution but without googling that was much earlier and may have been less violent. Canada did some paperwork with England and slowly moved on. There was violence of course but not on the level of the US civil war or the violence of the slave trade that carried on far too long. The widespread ownership of guns leads to more people feeling they need guns and it spirals from there. A running FB group I'm in often has Americans talking about running with guns! Completely foreign to most of the world.
Hi Chris, thank you for this!! It's so interesting to hear your perspective as Americans grew up with guns being normalized (encouraged even), though gun violence has escalated exponentially.
And you're right of course about America's bloody, violent and racist past. It's almost unfathomable and yet... again, we just take it, like it's normal.
We may have more in common with ancient civilizations than we thought (in the ways of violence) :(
Being unsafe is normalized. I’m glad I was able to live in China and experience being out after dark in a major city and not being afraid. Like even at 2 am, I was safe. And other cities around the world aren’t perfect, but I’ve never had to be as aware and on-the-ready as I had to in the US.
WILD that that man said that to you when you were out with a group of friends.
I love hearing how safe you felt in China. I spent a bit of time there and also felt very safe!! Yeah, the issues in the US are heartbreaking. And I agree, it was super weird that guy got so close to me, so quickly!!! Made me very aware after that though!!!
Amen sister! Walking alone down the highway in the middle of the night with no one around in Krabi Thailand felt safer than anywhere in the US at any time of day or night when you know anyone can literally shoot you for anything and get away with it - even in your own home if you're trying to defend yourself (i.e. one of many examples: https://www.gilmanbedigian.com/man-who-shot-intruder-in-his-home-sued-for-wrongful-death/).
Also I love hearing how safe you felt in the middle of the night, alone in Krabi, Thailand :)
WOW, just WOW! Someone can strangle you in your own home in the US and you can't defend yourself?!?! That's crazy!!!
Yeah...lawsuits in the US are really out of control. 🤦♀️
It's a very litigious country :( Lawyers gotta pay their student loans and there's one on every corner, like starbucks!
We're gone off…
yeah :(
I lived in Maryland most of my life and whenever we went down to Baltimore to see the Orioles play my parents were always on edge. I've lived in Mexico City for 4 years now and I feel loads safer here than I ever did in Baltimore. Some of the stories you wrote about here are horrific. Many foreigners I talk to bring up gun violence when talking about the states. They have a point.
Hi Tom!!! Thank you so much for your comment!!! I LOVE that you're living in Mexico City and thriving there!!! We're led to believe (in the US) that Mexico is super dangerous but the US is much more so. Yeah the gun violence in the US is really off the charts though I constantly have to remind myself that it's a much larger country than many other with a much larger population. I mean, you can fit 2.5 Portugals in 1 California... And yes, unfortunately, I have a slew of horror stories and even more if I include friend's horror stories but... we survived and we learned and we grew and we escaped!
I did not know that about Baltimore as I've never been there but sadly I'm not surprised to hear that :( Have your parents visited you in Mexico? How do they feel about you living there?
Hey Kimberly! My parents are fine with it! :) They visited me here a few times and got to see that this city really isn’t unsafe for the most part. I’m happy they took the trip. I too find it sad that so many Americans think Mexico is dangerous. I told an American I lived in Mexico City today and the first thing they asked me was whether it was dangerous. Man, the news really put the fear of God in them about Mexico I suppose. It’s a fine country. Bad parts, sure, but every country has them! :)
So pleased to hear you now live day to day feeling safe. The safest countries and cities list is fascinating reading, especially when so often we are told that travelling is dangerous, certainly more dangerous than staying in our home countries when in fact the data suggests quite firmly otherwise!
Hi Lauren, thank you so much for your comment!! Yes, fear is a big thing in the US, it keeps us complacent. I worked for a short time in TV news and it's part of what you have to sell. I see how it affects people like my 86 yo mother who is afraid to leave her house much of the time. She watches the news for hours each day and it just feeds the fear. I've also traveled solo for 22 years all over the world (not everywhere) and have never felt as unsafe as I do in the US. Do you feel the same way in France?
Yes absolutely, just reflecting on the differences between living rurally in England and France. In England the gates always locked, motion sensor lights and increasingly cctv. In France we didn’t have so much as a perimeter fence let alone a gate! It’s been years since I have been to the US so I can’t compare but the news and stats certainly make it feel very scary!
Oh that's super interesting about rural England vs rural France! I have to update my article on Portugal because now there are some muggings happening at a local park at night, committed by the same 5 Portuguese boys (threatening people at knifepoint) and the police refuse to do anything :( But it's still much scarier in the US!
I hope you don't have to deal with any of this drama anymore!