Goodbye USA, I'm Not Coming Back: Polarization/Division/Authoritarianism/Fascism/Hatred/Anger/Derision—Oh My!

#4 in the "Why I Left the US and Will Never Return" Series

Photo by Uriel Soberanes on Unsplash

Reason #1 was the high cost of living!

Reason #2 was the lack of healthcare!

Reason #3 was safety!

Intro

In 2022, I made the life-changing decision to leave the United States and move to Europe—and I can confidently say it was the best choice I’ve ever made. I have no regrets and no desire to return. My decision was driven by many factors, each playing a significant role in shaping my new life abroad. This is the fourth article in a series where I’ll dive deeper into those reasons and explore how they compare to my experiences living in Europe.

Disclaimer: what follows are only my opinions, if they upset you, please don’t lash out at me, just move on to another article that doesn’t upset you :)

Perfect Timing: A Perfect Storm

Wow, this is the perfect moment in time to write this particular article. As I mentioned in the second article in this series, which I’ve made into a note (thank you

Dr. CK | Beyond Borders 🛫

for teaching me how to do that!) so you can see the “haters disclaimer” if you so choose…

First of all: HiTrumLer is rapidly (in under two weeks) destroying the America we all love, committing grave injustices, costing people who are barely surviving more money than they can earn in their lifetimes (and thus: killing them), mass deportation of people who have lived and worked in the US for a decade+, eradicating DEI initiatives and plunging America into utter financial ruin so he and his cronies can amass even more money. I knew it would be bad, you knew it would be bad: but somehow it’s even worse… and watching from afar hurts too.

Secondly: I keep getting passive aggressive comments and a lot of hate and anger from Americans (it’s only Americans btw) who don’t know me and obviously haven’t read anything I’ve written other than whatever one article they happen upon that pisses them off. So I’m going to make notes addressing the concerns levied at me so I can just refer to them instead of re-typing the same things over and over.

This was the set up and transition to...

Why So Much Hate?

1. Does it even really matter?

2. "He said, she said: I believe X, you believe Y; therefore, you are wrong and bad, and I hate you—even though I don’t know you. Sound crazy? Yup! And yet, it’s exactly what’s happening—every. single. day.

I’ve always been that strange bird who can listen to opposing points of view as long as they’re not threatening, or accusatory. As mentioned above, I’ve had quite a bit of hateful hate thrown my way here on Substack over the past two months, which is counter-productive. If someone wants to engage in a respectful conversation, I’m all ears.

I’ll be the first to say: In the US, I lived in a bubble. California is a bubble. It’s not perfect, no place is. And there are people with opposing views (many who believe “all libtards should die”—as my father’s wife, a Californian filled with hate and vitriol, used to say on a regular basis) but overall, it’s a progressive state. The most hateful comment I heard walking down the street may be, “I can’t believe she went out without brushing her hair”.

And then I traveled through the US for a year in a van. Now, most strangers, when you come face-to-face with them (if you’re a small white female, as I am) are not openly aggressive unless they mean you harm. But the divide got bigger and bigger as I traveled, first south and then east.

In Charleston, South Carolina, I walked directly into a confederate rally. My little Californian mind could barely make sense of what I was seeing. I had to stand with the protestors (anti-confederates of all colors) for three hours and talk to people to even grok what was happening; which sadly, was a weekly event.

I get that people feel emboldened and passionate about their beliefs but how does that translate into attacking your neighbor?

The America I grew up in (yes, a bubble but there’s much more to it than that) was not the America that exists today.

Polarization and Derision

Americans are being “played” by the fascist government that has taken over the US. If they turn us against each other, their job is done. There are so many simple psychological and propaganda concepts at play here.

1. Distraction while Committing Atrocities: Look over there, at XYZ horror/disgrace/injustice, so you don’t notice what’s really happening over here (in the lined pockets of the politicians) with actual policy.

2. The “Us vs. Them” Narrative: hate on one another. There are “good people” and “bad people,” but of course, each person believes they are on the “good side” and must fight those the authoritarian regime has deemed “bad,” and vice versa.

3. Dehumanization: If we don’t see our neighbor as human, or if we see ourselves as “better than,” it becomes easy to treat them poorly—or even kill them—in the name of “justice.”

4. Overwhelm us with Disinformation: The 1987 repeal of the “Fairness Doctrine” paved the way for Fox News and their misinformation. The right wing media lies outright, as does trump. Fact checkers are not believed and there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do. —back to he said/she said, a kindergarten schooler’s fight with no winning side.

5. Overwhelm us with Fear: The news (all news) has one main job. To keep us in a constant state of fear. I worked in a branch of TV news for a bit and I saw it first hand. I also see it first hand with my own mother who is glued to the news and often too scared to leave her house. Fear is a hormonal cocktail that keeps us coming back for more. It spikes adrenaline, releasing norepinephrine and dopamine. Dopamine is addictive (fear is addictive)—give me more, more, more...

Maybe this seems exceedingly transparent and simple to me because I’m Jewish, maybe not. It’s the nazi playbook. A lot of it is taken directly from goebbels eleven principles of nazi propaganda playbook. It’s stalin’s playbook. It’s putin’s playbook. It’s trump’s playbook. —I’m not capitalizing any of their names on purpose.

But much of America: the people who hate on one another, the people who hate on me here on Substack, they’re all falling for it. And there’s absolutely nothing that you or I or logic or facts can do to pull back that curtain and reveal the Wizard of Oz for what he is, a puppet-master, pulling American’s strings.

And I can’t live in a world like that. I can’t stay in a California bubble (aside from the fact that I couldn’t afford it) because I felt like a part of my soul was dying just a little bit every-single-day.

I don’t want to live in a country that not only permits derision and hate, but stokes them. I don’t want to live in a country whose foundation has moved from democracy to authoritarianism. I don’t want to live in a country where the government has it’s fingers in our money (musk has control of the national treasury now), in our choices (as women, as LGBTQIA+ queer people, as Black and Brown people, as immigrants from all over the world)… and the list goes on.

It truly breaks my heart to witness this breakdown of the USA as (once) a “great nation” on earth, as my home, as a place of so much potential. And I not only respect the people who remain and choose to fight, I admire you. I couldn’t do it. And so… this was just one more reason I had to leave.

Conclusion

The polarization, hate, and propaganda gripping America today are heartbreaking to witness. The tactics being used to divide and distract—fear, misinformation, and dehumanization—are as old as time, yet so many still fall for them. Watching a once-promising nation tear itself apart while those in power profit from the chaos is devastating. I chose to leave because I couldn’t continue living in a system rooted in division and authoritarianism.

This is simply my perspective, shaped by my experiences. If it doesn’t resonate with you, that’s okay—please move on. Hate and anger only fuel the very cycle that’s destroying us. My hope is that these words encourage reflection, compassion, and perhaps a path toward unity.

I’ll finish this article by saying that I love living abroad, I have no regrets, it’s changed my life for the better in every way. —If you want to leave your home country too: Scroll down for links on “How To Move Abroad”, grab my class or book a consult!

Recommendations of Others Better Versed in the US Propaganda Machine

1. Heather Cox Richardson
   ’s Letter’s from an American

2. Sarah Kendzior
   ’s Newsletter

3. The Ezra Klein Show’s Segment “Don’t Believe Him”. (A huge thank you to my friend

   Shannon Brandao
   for sending this to me 🥰)

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If you’re interested in my “Why I Left the US and Won’t Ever Return” Series, please check out..

1. Cost of living: Article here

2. Healthcare (or lack thereof) here.

3. Safety—article here.

4. Polarization—too much hate and anger: this one

5. Community

6. Values

If you’re considering a move out of your home country, please check out my free “Live Abroad” series, as well as my super affordable class.

I’m open for consultations/coaching. Schedule an introductory 10 minute call with me to see if I can help with your move abroad!

• Consulting Information: what I can help you with.

• Scheduling: 10 minute intro call, á la carte meetings and crazy affordable packages!
  

**10 Minute Call Disclaimer: I was offering free introductory calls but unfortunately some people scheduled and didn’t show up after I planned my days around these calls. I super appreciate the people who did show up and are now clients!! However, in order to minimize the flaking, I’m charging a nominal fee now because everyone’s time is valuable :)

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—If you’re interested in learning another language before you embark (or after) on your new adventure, I highly recommend the platform Preply! It’s what I use to learn Portuguese and it’s also the platform I teach on. Please use my referral code for $17 off your first lesson!

—I use Wise to transfer money internationally between bank accounts and they also offer a free ATM card that can be used worldwide without fees. Please use my referral code for a free transfer of up to $600.

—I’ve started using Kindred Home Exchange in order to secure affordable accommodations! If you’re interested and want to sign up, you will get five nights with my referral code!

—I use Safety Wing for my travel medical insurance abroad. You can check them out here.

—For travel hacking I use my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. I earn enough points by using the card regularly (with no foreign transaction fees) to get a “free” RT ticket from Europe to the US at least once a year.

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The How to Live Abroad Publication is here.

• Part 1—Want to move abroad? Start here!

• Part 2—Conquer your fears about moving abroad!

• Part 3—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 1

• Part 4—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 2

• Part 5—A Personal Case study (re: Minimizing)

• Part 6—Your Move Abroad: The Ultimate Checklist

• My Class: teaching you how to live abroad on a budget for under $1,000 a month or under $2,000 a month is here!

Other Popular Articles/Podcast Episodes:

• Travel Hacking: What and How!

• Values: Differences Between Portugal and the US—Part Four.

• Inside the Homes: Differences Between Portugal and the US—Part One.

• Sidewalks, Zebra Crossings, Smells and More: Differences Between Portugal and the US—Part Two.

• Safety: Differences Between Portugal and the US—Part Three.

• First Six Months of Living Abroad

• How/Why I Ended up in Portugal

• Living Abroad After Two Years

• Archive of all my Articles and Podcast Episodes

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—I’ve started using Kindred Home Exchange in order to secure affordable accommodations! If you’re interested and want to sign up, you will get five nights with my referral code!

—I use Wise to transfer money internationally between bank accounts and they also offer a free ATM card that can be used worldwide without fees. Please use my referral code for a free transfer of up to $600.

—I use Safety Wing for my travel medical insurance abroad. You can check them out here.

—For travel hacking I use my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. I earn enough points by using the card regularly (with no foreign transaction fees) to get a “free” RT ticket from Europe to the US at least once a year.

—Expat on a Budget AKA Living Abroad on a Budget and My Unknown Adventure by Kimberly Anne

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