Why Moving Abroad NOW Beats Waiting for “The Right Time”

The Sooner You Go, the More You Gain.

Photo of the author taken by Hilary B.

Intro

Hello all! For those of you who are new to my Substack, I’m Kimberly Anne. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone for being part of this adventure! I started writing on Substack in 2022 to share my journey but as with most things… my focus has shifted to help others achieve their dreams of moving abroad.

I’m a U.S. “expat” who moved to Portugal in 2022. I moved here solo, sight unseen and without a support group. Prior to moving to Europe, I traveled the US in a converted van for a year, also solo! To learn even more about me, please click here.

This newsletter and podcast are free, but donations are always appreciated! Paid subscriptions or one-time “buy me a coffee” contributions really motivate me to keep creating helpful content. If donating isn’t possible, liking or sharing makes a big difference too. Thank you so much for being a reader!

Introduction: “Someday” vs. “Now” in the Dream of Moving Abroad

How long have you dreamed of living abroad? How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ve always wanted to move to another country but…”

The dream of living in another country is common, but in reality those who actually do it are few and far between.

I want to talk honestly about waiting, readiness, and why sooner might be better than later.

As I’ve mentioned before, I wanted to leave the United States for at least ten years, probably longer, before I took the leap. I researched for years. I read International Living’s yearly guides. I followed other expats and read their stories. I talked incessantly with my friend Hillary about moving to Costa Rica after her son graduated. And all of that is well and good. I love dreaming and planning. That’s a huge part of the pre-production of moving (sorry, I come from a film background, LOL). Even now, in Portugal, I’m fantasizing about my future. It’s normal. It’s healthy.

But if you’re serious, and you want to move beyond the dreaming stage, don’t stagnate. Don’t let other things hold you up. There will always be reasons and excuses. Always!

I remember when I wanted to have a baby. It was after a brutal miscarriage. Before then I hadn’t even considered it. I was speaking about it with a friend and said, “It’s probably not the right time, I’m not earning enough money yet.”

She said, “Don’t wait, the money will come.”

I went to see my OBGYN. He said, “Don’t wait or it will be too late.”

And you know what? I waited, and it was too late. So I turned to adoption. After I spent $25,000, a year going through in-depth interviews and multiple home visits, plus a battery of classes, I was finally picked by a sixteen-year-old girl named Destiny. Destiny had become pregnant by a fourteen-year-old boy. This was her second child and she confided she had to give up all of her hopes and dreams to raise the first baby, completely on her own. The second child had a different father than the first, but neither wanted to be involved with raising or contributing financially to the life of a child. Destiny’s mother had kicked her out of the house to fend for herself.

The young mother told me she couldn’t possibly raise two children on her own and said she wanted a better life for her daughter. When I asked what she would name her second baby if she could choose the name, she said, “Unwanted.”

This was just one of the many gut-wrenching moments I witnessed throughout this painful situation.

As I was feeding the baby, who I named ShayLynn, in the hospital, Destiny changed her mind and canceled the adoption. It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life but also—I don’t blame her. If I had little ShayLynn now, my life would have taken a very different course. It would still be full and beautiful, but I would not be where I am now.

Is there anything in your life that you put off until it was too late?

When I first decided to move to Portugal, I heard from some acquaintances that a woman I had met only once was living here. I didn’t know this woman, but I reached out to her anyway and asked for her help. Instead of telling me what she did or what I should do, she told me to join a Facebook group and do all my research there. At the time I thought, “Huh, I wonder why she won’t help?” And then I went to the FB group she suggested, researched, and did everything myself to make it happen.

After I got here, I met with her in person and asked her why she suggested the group instead of walking me through the steps herself. She said, “out of the dozens of people who have asked me for help, you’re the only one who’s actually moved here.”

I get that. She didn’t want to waste her time. She figured if I wanted it badly enough, I would make it happen myself. And I did.

What Keeps Us Waiting? (Common Fears and Excuses For Not Moving Abroad)

There are a series of reasons I commonly hear from people that stop them from moving forward.

A big one is fear, and I wrote about this in depth here.

Maybe you’re afraid of not speaking the language of your intended country. Maybe you’re afraid of leaving your comfort zone. Maybe it’s the dread of finding a new community or moving solo. Please note that I’ve written specific articles addressing each of these, linked above and in the resource section below.

Whatever your fears are, they are valid…

It’s okay to be afraid, but then, do the hard thing anyway.

There are other fears too. Financial worries, leaving loved ones, career concerns, even waiting for “the right moment” as I mentioned in the opening section.

The thing is… you will always have fears. Fear is part of human nature. It’s what keeps us alive when a wild boar is chasing us while we’re backpacking (a true but embellished personal account), it’s what causes our split second decision to maneuver our car out of the way when we’re about to be t-boned by a teenager on her first joy ride (another personal account, unembellished).

But when our fear stops us from moving forward in life, from exploring other options, that’s when it becomes detrimental.

I’m not here to tell you what to do or when to do it, because those are personal choices you ultimately must make for yourself. But I am here to push you a little, to ask you those hard questions, to allow you to look at your current situation differently, and to encourage you to move ahead with your dreams.

Author’s piece and video on IL

The Real Cost of Waiting: What Do You Lose By Delaying Your Move Abroad?

Most regrets are about things we don’t do, not about things we do.

One of my favorite things to talk about is “anticipatory regrets”, which is a fancy way of saying: if you imagine your life in one year, five years, or even ten and you haven’t done the thing you most want to do (in this case, we’ll use moving to another country as the obvious example), what regrets will you have?

I love this concept so much that I created an Anticipatory Regrets Journal—I created a 50% off coupon code at the bottom of this article under Resources for Substack Readers 🥰.

Originally this journal was only for students in my class, but a recent student suggested I offer it separately for a nominal fee to those who aren’t taking the class, so here it is (but don’t forget your coupon code below). There are five pages of journal prompts to help you move forward! Here are a few sample questions to get you started.

• Where do I envision myself in five years?

• What experiences do I hope to gain from living abroad?

• What aspects of my current life make me feel stagnant or unfulfilled?

A few other issues or things you will lose by putting your move off are time, energy, and opportunity, and changing life circumstances.

Time—you know those sayings: “You can always make more money, but you can’t make more time. Money comes and goes, but time always goes. Time is a non-renewable resource.” These sayings exist for a reason and I’m sure I don’t have belabor the fact that none of us are getting any younger, with the exception of Bryan Johnson, LOL.

Here’s another saying: the time is now. Your time is now. I recently had a YouTube video published on International Living, you can watch that here and one of the comments was “fifty-six is young” because that’s the age I was when I moved to Portugal.

I’m now fifty-nine, and I talk a lot about how age is not a defining factor for me, nor would it stop me from moving abroad but… the older we get, the harder it becomes. That’s a fact. Someone who’s in their late 80’s and still living in the U.S. recently spoke to me of all their regrets, and they included not moving to Mexico when they had the chance.

Energy—this can fade with time or medical issues. Personally, energy is an ever-changing fact for me. When I was in acupuncture school in my 40’s, I suffered from adrenal fatigue, which left me with less energy than I have today. When I wrote and published a novel a month for several years in my early 50’s, I burnt out and could barely function for two years. So I’ve learned not to push myself too hard. I still struggle with balance because there’s so much I want to do and so many different “jobs” I’m passionate about, plus juggling travel, my long-distance relationship, my extremely energetic dog, and everyday life. But the hard truth is that most of us lose energy as we get older.

Life often gets more complicated as we get older, especially with medical issues—both our own and those of our loved ones.

I have a friend in her late 70’s who used to spend three to six months a year in France. Then she developed kidney disease and had to go on dialysis. Because she was still an American citizen who only went to France on a tourist visa, she had to remain in the U.S. for treatment. This incredible woman has recently had a kidney transplant and plans to return to Europe but what if she hadn’t recovered? What if she had never followed her dream of living in France part-time? I know personal stories of people who couldn’t receive the medical attention they needed in the U.S. and died because of it at young ages. I hear stories constantly about others who couldn’t receive proper medical treatment in America but ended up living in another country where they did receive the correct medical treatment at a fraction of the cost and are now thriving (this is country and visa dependent).

There is a life that is calling you forward to glimpse its vision for you. You can only get so far by running away from what you do not want. Eventually, you will have to turn toward what you do. You will have to run toward a bigger yes. ~ Laura McKowen from the book “We are the Luckiest”

The Case for Moving Abroad Now (Not Later)

The time is NOW!

The fastest learning happens when you move outside your comfort zone!

Please skip this paragraph if you need to! I don’t want to get crazy, overly political here, but I do want to touch on it. If you’re in the U.S. during 2025 and you’re worried that things are only going to get worse, you’re not alone. I am not usually a catastrophizer, not that I don’t have my moments, but this is a big one. Since I left before T’s second term, he wasn’t my impetus to leave. However, if I was still living there now, I would leave immediately because of the state of things and where I predict it will go, especially after listening to Lev Parnas who was in the last Trump Administration and has some very specific first-hand experience and insights. Plus, I’m Jewish and the Holocaust is part of my ancestry. I often have nightmares about the beliefs that led to so many devastating deaths… “It could never happen here. It won’t get that bad…”

And now: politics and safety aside:

Moving abroad will build resilience and adaptability. The longer you remain on your comfortable couch watching Netflix, the harder it may be to leave. We become complacent, it’s human nature. And then one day bleeds into the next, and the next, and the next, and we “wake up” and twenty years have passed in seemingly “the blink of an eye”. I say this because it’s exactly what happened to me.

I was married for close to twenty years, living in relative comfort, and numbing out with drugs and alcohol. When I finally “woke up”, it felt as if gauze had covered my vision for over half my life or as if I had been dreaming. I remember the moment, it was that profound. And once it happened, I couldn’t go back. Back in the day, I described it as blinders being removed and suddenly I had my peripheral vision back. But now I think of it more as an awakening, like I wasn’t really experiencing my full potential but instead going through life in a fog.

My hope for you, is that this doesn’t happen, or that it does happen—sooner rather than later.

There are so many positive nuggets about moving abroad. So much you will learn and you will, most likely, only change for the better. You’ll collect unique life experiences, stories, and new friendships. You’ll develop important life skills and learn more about yourself than you ever dreamed possible. You will develop a global perspective and stop seeing wherever you live as the only place or the right place.

I, and everyone I know, was taught that “America is the greatest country in the world” and that’s just not true. America has some of the worst healthcare available at ridiculous costs. America’s economy is suffering painfully, but even before that, it’s become an unaffordable place to live. And then there are the crazy safety issues. The U.S. has the highest overall rate of death from firearms, nearly five times higher than France, and nearly 25 times higher than other high-income countries for firearm homicides.

I waited over ten years from the time I wanted to move abroad until the time I finally did. It took a significant life change to propel me forward. While I have no regrets, I often wonder what that alternate path would have looked like, leaving sooner…

Photo by author in Afurada, Portugal

If You’re Not Ready—Or Don’t Feel Ready—That’s Normal

I moved when I was ready, but not following your dreams to leave can be like waiting for the perfect time to give birth and then finding out you’ve waited too long.

I won’t tell you to push through or “just do it anyway” or go when you’re not ready but I will remind you that sometimes “not being or feeling ready” is fear in disguise. No one is ever 100% ready for a full life overhaul.

You don’t have to leap off into the unknown right this second but you can take baby steps that will propel you forward.

The biggest, most important and helpful thing I did before jumping was give myself a time frame.

What is your realistic time frame?

Permission to Go at Your Own Pace (But Keep Moving Forward)

Don’t wait for perfection, because perfection is a myth that keeps us stuck.

It took me fifteen years to finish writing my first novel because I wanted it to be “perfect.” And you know what? It wasn’t. It was so bad that I never even published it, but it had to be written so I could prove to myself that I could finish one. That led me to write the next one and the next and the next. I’ve now written over dozens. I can hardly believe it myself; I’ve written over thirty novels! The first three were terrible, and as we say, remain “hidden under the bed” (figuratively). But the fourth was actually good, and I published it. I learned how to write novels with the first three, it was like getting an MFA in writing.

But do you know what changed everything for me? Letting go of perfection.

Waiting can become a habit. That’s what happened to me with my first book. I rewrote the first fifty pages for years, and I made them worse! I had no idea at the time; I thought I was making them better, but the truth is that I was afraid. Afraid to fail.

Failing is part of the journey. I’ve failed so many times, I’ve lost count. Even now with my writing—years later and twenty semi-decent novels published—I earn just enough to cover my low monthly writing expenses. Still, I don’t count my novel-writing career as a failure. If I based it solely on my current earnings it would absolutely be a fail. But what if I base it on the fact that I wrote thirty and published twenty freaking novels!? If someone else told me they did that, I’d label them a rockstar!

Get comfortable with failure. Embrace it if you can, welcome it in, because without failure, we rarely succeed. Failing is not the end-all, be-all. It’s not as scary as we think. We focus far too much energy on negative outcomes before we learn to take them in stride. Yes, failing sucks, but learning to pick ourselves up off the ground and keep putting one foot in front of the other—that’s success!

You will probably fail multiple times before you succeed. I don’t see this as much with moving abroad, but let’s go there for a minute…

Say you move to France and you hate it. Guess what? You can leave! You can pivot and move back to your home country or try elsewhere. You may even learn that you want to explore this big, gorgeous world for a while before you decide what country or city feels “right”. The worst thing that can happen is you had a grand adventure. And if you try and decide that living abroad isn’t for you after all, you will no longer be saddled with “what if…”

Keep your momentum going. Research, network, learn a new language, save your money, look for remote work. Plan, dream and journal. If you run into naysayers, I caution you to hold your tongue.

Food for Thought: Reflective Questions to Challenge Your Timeline

• If not now, when? What would have to change for you to finally move?

• What are you really afraid of? Is it failure, loss, the unknown?

• How would you feel if you never did it?

• What do you stand to gain if you go? What do you stand to lose if you don’t?

• What’s the worst that could happen—and could you handle it?

• What’s the best that could happen?

Ready, Set, Go: Action Steps You Can Take Today

• Research visa options for your dream country.

• Join expat forums or local meetups online.

• Start a language app.

• Set a “mini deadline” (e.g., “By next month I’ll have a plan.”)

• Book a one-way ticket (if/when you’re completely ready).

Conclusion: The Perfect Time Is Now

Dreaming of moving abroad is easier than taking that first step.

If you’ve made it to the end of this article, you know that waiting for perfect circumstances is a myth—life will always throw up new obstacles, new excuses, new fears. But the cost of waiting is real: lost time, lost energy, and the risk of waking up someday with more regrets than memories.

You don’t have to be 100% ready. You don’t need to have every detail mapped out or every fear conquered. What you do need is a willingness to move forward—one baby step at a time. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to learn as you go, and to embrace the discomfort that comes with growth and change.

Imagine your life five or ten years from now. Will you be glad you waited, or will you wish you’d started sooner? Only you can answer that. But here’s what I know: the world is waiting, and your adventure doesn’t begin with a leap—it starts with a single, imperfect step.

So start researching, start planning, start dreaming out loud. Set a timeline, hold yourself accountable, and surround yourself with people who support your vision. The only thing standing between “someday” and “now” is action.

Your future self is already cheering you on. And so am I 🥰 Give us all a story worth telling!

Resources:

• International Living Online

• International Living: My Video

• International Living: My Article

• Article about FEAR!

• Comfort article

• Community article

• Moving Solo article

• Language article

• Anticipatory Regrets Stand Alone Journal (50% off coupon for Substack Peeps: available for 2 weeks! Coupon Code: SUBSTACKARTY)

• Naysayers

Thank you so much for reading! If you don’t want to become a paid subscriber (my articles will always be free) but enjoyed this article, please consider a one time donation below.

I’m excited to help you make your dream of moving abroad a reality! 🎉 Book a video consultation with me to get personalized guidance for your big move, or check out my super affordable, self-paced class to learn key steps and strategies for relocating abroad. Let’s make it happen!

• Consulting Information: Discover how I can help make your move abroad smoother and stress-free.

• Work With Me: I offer personalized à la carte consultations and ridiculously affordable packages to fit your needs!

• My Class: Learn step-by-step strategies to move abroad on a budget—all at your own pace!

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—If you want to learn another language before you embark (or after) on your new adventure, I highly recommend the platform Preply! It’s what I use to learn Portuguese and it’s also the platform I teach on. Please use my referral code for $17 off your first lesson!

—I use Wise to transfer money internationally between bank accounts and they also offer a free ATM card that can be used worldwide without fees. Please use my referral code for a free transfer of up to $600.

—I’ve started using Kindred Home Exchange in order to secure affordable accommodations! If you’re interested and want to sign up, you will get five nights with my referral code!

—I use SafetyWing for my travel medical insurance abroad. You can check them out here.

—For travel hacking, I use my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. I earn enough points by using the card regularly (with no foreign transaction fees) to get a “free” RT ticket from Europe to the US at least once a year.

—I use the eSim Nomad. I’ve tried several others, and Nomad is the only one that’s ever worked for me.

—If you’re traveling or moving to a new country, I highly recommend choosing ExpressVPN. It’s the VPN service that I use. Click here for more information and get three extra months on an affordable twelve month subscription.

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If you’re interested in my “Why I Left the US and Won’t Ever Return” Series, please check out..

1. Cost of living: Article here

2. Healthcare (or lack thereof) here.

3. Safety—article here.

4. Polarization—too much hate and anger

5. Community

6. Values

If you’re interested in moving abroad, check out my free Expat on a Budget pub or podcast on Substack

The How to Live Abroad Publication is here.

• Part 1—Want to move abroad? Start here!

• Part 2—Conquer your fears about moving abroad!

• Part 3—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 1

• Part 4—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 2

• Part 5—A Personal Case study (re: Minimizing)

• Part 6—Your Move Abroad: The Ultimate Checklist

If you’re on a budget (as am I) please like by clicking on the heart below and share this article with a friend. 

Your support (in all ways) is greatly appreciated! 

—Expat on a Budget (AKA) Living Abroad on a Budget and My Unknown Adventure by Kimberly Anne

*** This article contains a few affiliate links. Using my affiliate links is not required and does not cost you anything extra but I greatly appreciate it, if you do. It’s a (free to you) way to help support my writing.

***Disclaimer: My writing, and podcasts are based on personal experience and are for informational purposes only. I am not a lawyer. Please seek professional advice before making decisions about moving abroad. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use of this information.