Hello and thank you for being here! I’m Kimberly Anne—a U.S. expat who moved to Portugal solo in 2022, sight unseen and without a safety net. I started this Substack to document my own journey, but these days, I’m here to help you explore your own dreams of moving abroad. Thanks for joining me on the adventure! Want more of the backstory? Click here.
This newsletter and podcast are completely free, but donations are always appreciated! Paid subscriptions or one-time “buy me a coffee” contributions really motivate me to keep creating helpful content. If donating isn’t possible, liking or sharing makes a big difference too. Thank you so much for being a reader!
Introduction
I’ve never been the person who loves conventional workouts (like running or going to the gym) but I’ve always been athletic. I was a young gymnast, in elementary school, and it was my all-consuming passion. I was headed for elite level training when my parents pulled me out without a word or a backwards glance. My dream, at 12 years old was crushed and while it sounds dramatic, I never really got over it.
I tried other unconventional “sports” for years but it wasn’t until 2010 at the age of 44 that I discovered static trapeze in a circus school in San Francisco. I fell in love, working out three days a week through injuries, illness, and exhaustion. And while I never wanted to be a performer, I wasn’t half bad. My life pivoted in 2021 and I moved into a van to travel the US, thus leaving circus school behind. I missed it more than my apartment and the amazing life I had built in a tiny pocket filled with trees, hiking trails and meadows. The part of Northern California often referred to as “Mayberry on acid”.
One of the reasons I chose to move to Porto in Portugal, was the promise of a circus school here, but I found it to be sorely lacking and quit after just a few classes. Several more years went by where I suffered some injuries that I was sure would keep me grounded forever. It’s hard to hang on to a trapeze with several broken fingers. I had finally given up when my amazing personal trainer told me about a new school with a kick-ass teacher. I was scared to go back so she went with me. It’s exceeded my expectations.
The smell of sweat and chalk brought back the memories of a happier time. Wrapping my hands around the weight of the bar, hanging from the rough ropes, redefining the ever present searing pain of circus, I felt more alive than I have in years. I didn’t start anywhere near the level I had achieved four years ago, when I had finally “graduated” to trapeze III.
Nope, I got humble once again, starting at the very beginning. But the body remembers and mine is no exception. My knee hang is still strong enough that I can swing but I can’t lift one leg off as I easily could before. My hands too, with the calluses gone, hurt after an hour. But I’m not easily dissuaded and the happiness I feel when I’m perched on that bar or hanging from those ropes outweighs all the pain that comes with circus. It feels like coming home.
I finally got a few pics snapped of some rudimentary moves I was proud of and posted one here on Substack (the pic above). I posted it with pride, a shouting declaration that at fifty-nine years old, I can still do this, which means you can too! I’ve never been one to let my age define me, nor have I let others define me by my age.
So imagine my surprise when I received this comment from a random stranger.
I laughed. Because is it? Too late for what? Should I sit on the couch and needlepoint now instead of being active? Not that there’s anything wrong with doing needlepoint. But come on!
Why does some random person who doesn’t know me feel like they can judge me, or anyone else who may be older than them? Whatever happened to:
the older we are, the more we know.
respect your elders.
don’t be rude.
This Isn't My First Rodeo: A History of Reinvention
This stranger's comment assumes people live life in a straight line. They have no idea that my life has been anything but. This isn't the first time I've done something unexpected for my age or circumstances.
First Reinvention (Age 36): I left a nearly two-decade abusive marriage. It wasn't just about redefining myself, it was about discovering myself for the first time. I had been with my ex-husband since age nineteen and had no idea who I was without him. It was a long and painful road to find out. I was a completely different woman without the man who kept me small, kowtowed, and living in perpetual fear. I left behind more than my identity, apartment, car, and all my belongings. I left behind a career I had built over a decade. I was a successful television producer, writer, director, and actor. I also left behind an insecure, terrified, meeker version of myself. While this was probably the most painful “reinvention” in my life thus far, it was the most significant. I would not be the strong, confident, bold woman I am today if I had stayed in that abusive marriage.
Second Reinvention (Age 39): Just a few years later, at thirty-nine, I went back to school for a master's degree. I made a list of what I wanted. To help people, to work for myself, to escape the 9-to-5; and I chose a new path. I graduated as an acupuncturist at forty-four. That career was anything but static. I reinvented my business several times, learning from a costly failure with a community clinic to build a successful private practice.
I learned that failure isn't a stop sign, it's a lesson.
Third Reinvention (Age 45/ish): I began writing and publishing novels. I didn’t go to school for it, I learned from researching, going to conventions and listening to others. In less than ten years I wrote thirty full-length novels and self-published twenty-one.
The Fourth Reinvention (Age 56): At fifty-six I left everything I knew (once again) and moved to Portugal by myself. I didn’t have anyone helping me, no one holding my hand, and barely anyone who supported my decision. But I did it anyway because I knew it was time for a major life change. Time for me to finally follow my lifelong dream of living in Europe.
I wouldn’t call my return to trapeze a reinvention but at 59, I'm doing it.
So when someone asks if I'm 'too old' for the trapeze, they don't understand that for me, embracing change and challenge isn't a late-life crisis. It's a lifelong pattern.
The Philosophy of 'Going For It'
I am no longer willing to waste any more of my life doing anything that I don’t absolutely love doing.
If you never take the chance, you’ll never know what could have been.
I lived the first twenty-five adult years of my life in regret. I stayed in a toxic relationship, lived in relative squalor, and was a drug addict. I’m now seventeen years clean and sober.
I’m not willing to do what I don’t want to do anymore. Life is too freaking short.
Yes, I went back to school to get a master’s degree in my forties. Yes, I took out student loans and I still have massive debt from it. But does that mean I should have kept working in a career that no longer made me happy because I was making a ton of money? No!
I moved to Portugal sight unseen and I had a rough landing, eighteen months of utter hell. But I stayed. I saw it through, I healed, I cried, I raged, I wrote a lot in my journal…
My pain wasn’t from Portugal, it was from life circumstances and I gave Portugal a chance. Some days here are amazing, others are hard. That’s life anywhere. I always say I have no regrets about moving here and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Does that mean I’m staying? Maybe, maybe not.
When the time comes for me to move again, either to a different town or a different country, I will do it. I can’t compromise anymore and the only part of getting older (for me) that has anything to do with who I am and what I do is that I have less time left on this earth. Which means I really have to make the most of it.
What’s the Worst Thing That Can Happen?
Do I love change? No, I don’t. I don’t like it at all.
But there are so many things that are worse than change.
Having no sense of purpose.
Stagnation (personally or professionally).
Lacking growth (whether intellectually, spiritually, or emotionally).
Lack of connection (with people, animals, and nature).
Moving through the rat race like a zombie.
Do you feel any of these? I’m sure you have at some point in your life. Take an honest assessment right now of where you’re at.
Whenever I’m heading toward the end of a relationship my therapist always says:
“when you’re more unhappy, than happy, it’s time to leave.”
Try using that as a barometer for everything in your life.
Ask yourself: Does this “thing” make me happy most of the time or unhappy most of the time?
Where you live (country, house, city).
Your job, or profession.
Your relationships—all of them, not just romantic ones.
Your hobbies (or lack thereof).
Your support group/s.
Your belongings.
Your circumstances.
Does your unhappiness in any of these situations in your life outweigh your happiness?
If so, maybe it’s time to reinvent yourself.
Did you know that engaging in new, challenging activities like trapeze (or learning a new language) builds new neural pathways (neuroplasticity), protecting the brain?
Physical activity is crucial for maintaining bone density, muscle mass, and cardiovascular health in older adults.
A sense of purpose is directly linked to longevity and better health outcomes.
Conclusion
I realize this article began as a response to a stranger’s comment, a simple testament that “you’re never too old.” But as I wrote, it became something more. It became a map of my reinventions, a declaration of my philosophy, and a challenge—not just to that stranger, but to myself, and to you.
It all comes back to the trapeze. That steel bar is more than just a piece of circus equipment; it's a metaphor for grabbing onto what brings you joy, even if it hurts at first. It’s the feeling of strength returning to muscles you thought had forgotten. It’s the defiance in choosing to fly when others think you should remain on the ground.
And whenever I have a flicker of doubt, if my own resolve feels like it isn’t enough, I remember that I am not alone. I think of a woman I know who took up circus in her late sixties, first learning to climb a rope when others were settling down to watch TV. I watch videos of women in their eighties weightlifting with a power that defies expectation, and I read about people earning PhDs in their nineties, their minds still hungry for more. I meet people like you, on Substack or YouTube, every single day who are moving abroad in your seventies. All of you are the living, breathing proof that the real question isn't about age, it’s about courage.
So I’ll turn the question back to you. What is your trapeze? What is that thing you've been told, or worse, told yourself that you're too old, too broken, or too late to begin? What is the passion you let go of that still calls to you in quiet moments?
As for me, you can find me at circus school. Because the answer to the question, “Aren’t you a bit too old for that?” isn’t a justification or an argument. It’s a resounding, unequivocal “No.”
I lived the first half of my adult life in regret, shrinking to fit a life that was poisoning me. I am not willing to do that anymore.
And you shouldn't be either.
****A call OUT to anyone 50+ who’s moved abroad, reinvented yourself or did 1,000 other extraordinary things! Please comment below!
Resources
I’ve talked about Mary Bartnikowski before, but have you REALLY looked at her? A woman who’s ten years older than me living as a full time digital nomad and she’s one of several amazing people I know who are doing this!
Roberta Hill, Wander After 70 —who’s doing just that!
Brenda Walker got her PhD at age 79!
People in their 70’s doing parkour!
Julia “Hurricane” Hawkins set a world sprinting record at 105!
The oldest gymnast in the world, Johanna Quaas, at age 97!
Orville Rogers set a sprinting record at age 100!
My father traveled the world full-time into his late 80’s, dying peacefully at 91.
What’s Your Excuse?
I ask not to shame but in hopes you will take inspiration from the people above. There are thousands more defying age limitations and ageism every single day. Wouldn’t you rather be in their camp? I know I would!
Thank you so much for reading! If you don’t want to become a paid subscriber (my articles will always be free) but enjoyed this article, please consider a one time donation below.
I’m excited to help you make your dream of moving abroad a reality! 🎉
I offer personalized à la carte consultations, packages and a DIY class.
—I use Wise to transfer money internationally between bank accounts and they also offer a free atm card that can be used as a Visa worldwide without fees. Please use my referral code for a free transfer of up to $600.
—Are you interested in being (or finding) a petsitter? I recommend Trusted Housesitters. I’ve use them on multiple occasions with wonderful results
—For travel hacking, I use my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. I earn enough points by using the card regularly (with no foreign transaction fees) to get a “free” RT ticket from Europe to the US at least once a year.
—I use the eSim Nomad. I’ve tried several others, and Nomad is the only one that’s ever worked for me.
—If you’re traveling or moving to a new country, I highly recommend choosing ExpressVPN. It’s the VPN service that I use. Click here for more information and get three extra months on an affordable twelve month subscription.
—I use the home exchange platform Kindred, where I was able to stay in sunny Los Angeles for three weeks in a gorgeous bungalow!
If you’re interested in moving abroad but don’t know where to start, check out this series!
The How to Live Abroad Publication is here.
Join my Free Subscriber’s Chat!
If you’re on a budget (as am I) please like by clicking on the heart below and share this article with a friend.
Your support (in all ways) is greatly appreciated!
—Expat on a Budget (AKA) Living Abroad on a Budget and My Unknown Adventure by Kimberly Anne
*** This article contains a few affiliate links. Using my affiliate links is not required and does not cost you anything extra but I greatly appreciate it, if you do. It’s a (free to you) way to help support my writing.
***Disclaimer: My writing, and podcasts are based on personal experience and are for informational purposes only. I am not a lawyer. Please seek professional advice before making decisions about moving abroad. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use of this information.
Dear Kimberly,
thank you for the kick ass shout out, I’m grateful for it. 🤩😘
This is a beautiful motivational get going on fun in your life especially being age 50+
Trapeze, wow!!
This week I also responded to an insult on my substack which I won’t repeat but it only made me more ferocious to live life at full sail and drop the haters one by one.
Nope! Talk to the hand😀
Keep shining your light on the world! 🌎
I got my Ph.D. at 50. I’m older than that now, and my spouse and I are getting ourselves in gear to change countries.
60 is only too old for trapeze if you’re a cranky dude who thinks that. I have noticed that whether you think you can do something or think you can’t, you’re probably right, regardless of what the “something” is.