12 Paralyzing Fears About Moving Abroad and How to Logically Destroy Each One

A radical reframing that will eliminate your biggest fears about taking the leap.

Hello and thank you for being here! I’m Kimberly Anne—a U.S. expat who moved to Portugal solo in 2022, sight unseen and without a safety net. I started this Substack to document my own journey, but these days, I’m here to help you explore your own dreams of moving abroad. Thanks for joining me on the adventure! Want more of the backstory? Click here.

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Intro

You’re probably reading this article because you’re dreaming of moving abroad. But… and that’s just it, there’s always a but. An excuse. A reason. Something stopping you. If you’ve read my posts for awhile you know it’s never my intention to invalidate anyone’s reasons, my intention is always to empower you.

You may be wresting with one, two, three or more different issues. Things like:

• I can’t leave my aging parents.

• I can’t travel with my old dog.

• I have too much stuff.

• Or… insert your reason/excuse here.

Whatever your excuse (or reason) may be, it’s keeping you where you are. Keeping you from moving forward and if you want to stay where you are, that’s great, you can skip this post altogether! But if you are ready to move abroad… please keep reading!

The Power of What If…

I was in the shower, where I do my best thinking… Seriously I had an entire seven book series download into my head around 2013 and I ended up writing and publishing all those books by 2016!

Anyway… this shower aha moment came in the form of the words “what if…”

What if… is an opened ended question. It’s something I’ve asked myself for most of my life whenever I’ve been stuck. An example with the books could be, what if you didn’t write those books? What if you did?

It’s the formula needed to reframe every self-imposed roadblock! It moves your insurmountable problem into one you can solve. And the beauty of what if is that the more you ask it, the more you uncover, like the onion layer peel.

Let’s go down the book route as a further example.

Fear/Concern/Worry/Hurdle: I want to write this book series but I’m afraid of failure.

Q: So what if you fail? Will anyone ever know?

A: No, not unless I tell them but what if they find out?

Q: Do you think they will judge you for trying? For doing something brave and difficult, even if you do fail? And what if they do? Are those the type of people you want in your life?

A: No and No

Q: What if you write it anyway?

A: But it’s such a huge endeavor, where will I even start?

Q: What if you start with the first book? Just one and then see how that makes you feel.

A: How will I know if my writing is any good?

Q: What if you hire an editor?

A: I don’t know anything about publishing or even writing a book!

Q: What if you learn?

—I won’t go on with this exercise because I’m sure you get the point.

All of your excuses and reasons are like locked doors, and what if… is your key.

Let's Unlock Your Cage

The Framework

1. The Worry/Pain Point/Hurdle/Fear/Concern, etc.

2. The Perceived Reality

3. Your “what if” questions begin!

Roadblock #1: Overwhelm

Starter’s Block: The entire process is just too overwhelming to even start!

The Hurdle: You don’t see an end to your “to do” list and it’s so long you have no idea where to even begin. Every task you complete leads to more. Navigating visas, dealing with your finances, finding new housing, minimizing and getting rid of your stuff, booking flights, figuring out your bank accounts, saying goodbyes... each one feels like a full-time job. You’re so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks that you shut down completely, a classic example of analysis paralysis.

• WHAT IF: This is where we start with your golden question: What if you only have to figure out the very next step?

  • You don’t need to plan each one, you don’t need to look at 100 steps and cry.

  • You just need to know what Step 1 is. Is it Googling passive income visas in Europe? Is it cleaning out one drawer? The goal is to shrink the task from “Move Abroad” to “Do one small thing.”

• WHAT IF: you broke each task down into buckets?

  • Create categories:

    • Legal (visas)

    • Money (budget/savings)

    • Home (decluttering/selling)

    • Destination (research).

Then, decide to focus on only one bucket this week. This brings order to the chaos.

• Deeper What If: What if this feeling of being overwhelmed is actually a sign that you’re undertaking something truly epic and worthwhile?

  • What if you reframed it not as a reason to stop, but as a rite of passage for an incredible life change?

Roadblock #2: A Partner

Starter’s Block: I am far more excited about this move than my partner is, or they don’t want to move.

The Hurdle: You bring it up, and your partner’s face falls. They say ‘“no,” or a hesitant “maybe” that really means “no.” They list all the reasons to stay: their career, their family, their friends, their comfort. You feel a chasm opening between your dream and your relationship. Pushing the issue feels like you’re forcing them; letting it go feels like you’re sacrificing your own happiness.

• WHAT IF: you stopped trying to convince them and started trying to understand them?

  • The goal isn’t to win a debate. It’s to listen. Ask them: “What specifically are you afraid of losing? What does your ideal life look like five years from now?” By exploring their fears and dreams without judgment, you move from a conflict to a collaborative exploration.

• Next WHAT IF: You can say to them, “What if we planned a ‘Trial Run’ vacation to the potential new city?”

  • Instead of talking in abstracts, make it real. Spend two weeks (or longer) there, but don’t live like tourists. Live like locals. Go grocery shopping, check out neighborhoods, visit a co-working space, and try to meet people. This can either demystify the fear or confirm that it’s not the right fit, but it’s based on data, not just fear.

• Deeper What If: What if this disagreement isn’t about a location, but about a fundamental difference in your life goals? What if this conversation, as hard as it is, is the most important one you can have for the long-term health of your relationship, regardless of where you end up living?

Personal Account: I (your author) wanted to move abroad for over a decade but I always had a partner that didn’t. So I didn’t. I sacrificed what I truly wanted with the excuse that: “their happiness was more important than mine” or “my happiness depended on theirs” or “I was happier being with them than being without them.” Spoiler alert: none of my relationships lasted. NONE of them! From a seventeen year marriage to an eight year relationship to other shorter ones in between. I only found my footing and did what I had always wanted to do after I allowed myself to be single for multiple years. I’m not saying this is you or will be you. But it is food for thought.

I know of one person here on Substack that is moving without their partner, for now. They hope their partner will join them in the future but it got to the point where they couldn’t wait anymore to make the move for themselves.

Roadblock #3: Your Stuff

Starter’s Block: You have so much stuff that the process of getting rid of it is too emotionally and physically exhausting to even begin.

The Hurdle: Every drawer you open is a Pandora’s box of decisions. Every object has a story, a cost, or a guilt-trip attached. Example: It was a gift from someone I love! The sheer volume is paralyzing. Your home transforms from a sanctuary into a warehouse of pending tasks. You and your partner argue about a chipped mug or you argue with yourself. The dream of moving feels distant and abstract, while the mountain of stuff is a very real, very present monster that kills your motivation.

• WHAT IF: your only goal for today is to clear one shelf?

  • Not the whole bookcase, just one shelf. Not the entire closet, just one drawer.

  • The goal is to shrink the task to something you can’t say no to.

  • It takes 15 minutes, creates a tiny, undeniable win, and gives you a hit of dopamine that builds momentum. This proves the monster can be fought.

• WHAT IF: you used the Four-Box Method for every single room?

  • Get four actual, physical boxes or bins. Label them: KEEP (for the move), SELL/DONATE, STORE (if applicable), and TRASH.

  • From now on, you don’t make complex, emotional decisions. You just make one of four simple choices. This turns a mentally draining process into a repeatable, physical sorting task and brings order to the chaos.

• Deeper What If: What if this isn’t just getting rid of junk, but a deliberate act of curating our future life? What if every item you let go of isn’t a loss, but instead it’s buying back your freedom and making space, both physically and mentally, for the new experiences and new identity you want to build in your next chapter?

Roadblock #4: Your Pets

Starter’s Block: How can move my pets? I would never, ever leave them!

The Hurdle: This is a non-negotiable for any pet owner. You imagine your beloved animal terrified in a plane’s cargo hold, facing long and traumatic quarantines, or being denied entry by a mountain of paperwork. The logistics and costs feel cruel and impossible, making the dream a non-starter.

• WHAT IF: You made pet-friendliness a primary filter for choosing your destination?

  • This turns the problem into a solution. Some countries are difficult for pet immigration (Australia, New Zealand). Many in Europe and Latin America are incredibly welcoming. Let your pet help you narrow down the list! Research countries in the EU’s Pet Travel Scheme, for example.

• WHAT IF: You consulted a professional pet relocation service now?” Instead of guessing, get a quote. These services handle everything—the vet paperwork, the airline bookings, the customs clearance. Knowing the exact process and cost turns a terrifying unknown into a line item on your budget and a clear set of steps to follow. Or… research ALL your other options.

• Deeper What If: What if moving abroad is the greatest gift I can give my pet? A life of new parks, new smells, new beaches to run on, and a less-stressed, happier owner to be with? What if our true home is simply being together, wherever that may be?

Here’s an article I wrote about relocating with your beloved animal.

Roadblock #5: Children

Starter’s Block: The Fear of Uprooting Kids: Is moving abroad is a selfish decision that will harm my young kids?

The Hurdle: This is the heaviest guilt. You’re ripping your kids away from their friends, their school, their cousins, and their grandparents. You have nightmares of them being lonely, falling behind academically, and resenting you for disrupting their stability.

• WHAT IF: this move is the single greatest educational gift I could ever give them?

  • You’re not taking something away; you’re giving them the world. You’re giving them resilience, adaptability, empathy, and a second language—skills that will benefit them for their entire lives.

• WHAT IF: I made them co-adventurers in the project? Involve them in the process in age-appropriate ways. Let them watch videos of the new country. Have them help you learn 10 words in the new language or a word a day. Frame it as a grand family adventure, not a scary change.

• WHAT IF: I researched the amazing support systems that already exist? You’re not the first family to do this. Look into international schools, which have experience integrating kids from around the world. Find local parent groups or search for “Family Expats in (your city here)” Facebook groups to build a community before you even land.

• Deeper What If: What if the most powerful lesson I can teach my children is not to fear the world, but to embrace it with courage and curiosity? What if, by pursuing my own dream, I give them the unspoken permission to bravely pursue theirs when the time comes?

Many others have successfully blazed this path ahead of you! Check out: Tanessa Shears who is a full time digital nomad with her young children! Kaila Krayewski was living in Thailand and now Spain with her young son!Sarah Bringhurst Familia moved and moved again (several times over) with her kids!

Roadblock #6: Family (aging parents/adult kids)

Starter’s Block: Aging Parents or Adult Kids

I could move and my parents’ health could fail or my adult children may face a crisis, and I’m not there to help? What if they resent me for abandoning them?

The Hurdle: The guilt is crushing. Every conversation is tinged with passive-aggressive remarks about how far away you’ll be. Shortly after you decide to move, your parent has a health scare, or your adult child goes through a tough breakup or job loss. You are paralyzed by the fear that you’re making a profoundly selfish choice, trading your family’s well-being for your own dream.

• WHAT IF: you created a ‘Care & Communication Plan’ with your family before you go?

  • This isn’t just your plan; it’s a collaborative agreement. Schedule weekly video calls. Create a shared digital calendar for important dates. Set up an “Emergency Go-Fund” with enough money for a last-minute flight home, no questions asked. For parents, help assemble a local support network of trusted neighbors or friends. For kids, establish how you can help from afar. This can turn vague anxiety into a concrete, actionable plan.

• WHAT IF: we redefined what ‘being there’ truly means?

  • Does “being there” require physical presence, or does it require emotional presence and tangible support? A 30-minute, fully focused video call can be more connecting than a distracted in-person visit. Moving to a lower-cost-of-living country might free up the financial resources to help them more effectively like contributing to a home-care aide for a parent, or helping a child with a down payment. You’re not abandoning them; you’re changing the method of your support.

• Deeper What If: What if this move is actually a chance to model a powerful lesson for our family? For our kids, we’re modeling that it’s never too late to chase a dream. For our parents, we’re creating a new, more intentional way of connecting. What if our adventure inspires them, broadens their horizons, and ultimately strengthens our bond in a way that staying put out of obligation never could?

I wrote about this before with some other solutions here.

Roadblock #7: Money

Starter’s Block: I’ve spent my life savings on this, but what happens if it doesn’t work out, and I have to come home broke, embarrassed and financially ruined?

The Hurdle: You sell your car, drain your savings, and spend thousands setting up a new life. Six months in, you realize you’re miserable. Now you have to spend even more money to fly home, find a new apartment with no security deposit saved up, and start from absolute zero, feeling foolish and irresponsible.

• WHAT IF: I viewed this money not as ‘spent and lost,’ but as tuition for the most valuable education I could ever buy?

  • You didn’t just buy a plane ticket; you bought an education in self-reliance, global learning, problem-solving, and courage. What is the price tag on that? Framed this way, it’s impossible to come home with nothing.

• WHAT IF: I created a ‘Return Ticket Fund’ before I even left? This is a practical solution. Set aside a separate, untouchable pot of money that is specifically for a plane ticket home and a one-month security deposit. This isn’t a failure fund; it’s an insurance policy. Giving yourself a guaranteed escape hatch paradoxically makes you braver, because the absolute worst-case scenario (being trapped and broke) is taken off the table.

• Deeper What If: What if I asked myself: in 20 years, which action will I regret more? The money I spent on an adventure that reshaped my life, or the money I saved by staying safely in my comfort zone?

• Deeper What If Two: What if you stop thinking about this as ‘spending’ your savings and started thinking about it as investing in your life? Every dollar you save isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a direct purchase of freedom, experience, and the future you actually want. What if financial discipline is the most powerful tool you have to build a life you love?

Roadblock #8: Health and Safety

Starter’s Block: I could get sick or hurt. Maybe the country I move to isn’t safe.

The Hurdle: You get a horrible flu, can’t speak the language to describe your symptoms, and have no idea if the local clinic is trustworthy. Or you hear stories about crime and political instability, and you imagine yourself being a vulnerable target, far from the 911 system and familiar hospitals you know. This fear strikes at our most basic need for safety and survival.

• WHAT IF: I did my ‘worst-case scenario’ research before I went?

This is about replacing vague anxiety with a concrete plan.

• Healthcare: What if you researched and purchased comprehensive expat health insurance? Companies like IMG Global, Travel Guard, or SafetyWing are designed for this. They often have English-speaking support lines and lists of vetted doctors in your new city. You can literally put the address of the best hospital into your phone before you even land.

• Safety: What if you looked at real data instead of just scary headlines? Check official sources like the U.S. Department of State travel advisories or the UK’s Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office.

• Or other sources like the Global Peace Index and Travel Safe Abroad.

• Join expat forums for that city and ask directly: “What neighborhoods are safest? What are the common scams to watch out for?”

This way, you’ll get on-the-ground, realistic advice. Just watch out for fear mongering!

• Deeper What If: What if I discovered that millions of people live safe, healthy and better lives in this other country every single day? What if learning to navigate a new system is one of the ultimate acts of building self-reliance?

If you really look at the Global Peace Index Map you’ll see that many countries rank higher than the US and you probably live there already so…!!!!

Roadblock #9: Language and Culture

Starter’s Block: I’m terrible at languages. I’m worried I’ll make embarrassing cultural mistakes, and I never truly fit in. I’m scared of feeling isolated and incompetent.

The Worry: Every attempt to speak the local language is met with a blank stare or an immediate switch to English, which makes you feel foolish. Simple errands like going to the post office or the pharmacy become anxiety-inducing ordeals. You accidentally offend someone with a gesture that’s innocent at home but rude in your new country. You retreat into the safety of an expat bubble or just stay home, feeling more lonely and alienated than ever.

• WHAT IF: your only language goal for this week was to master the script for ordering a coffee and a pastry?

  • Forget fluency. Forget grammar. The goal is to achieve one small, repeatable victory. Write down exact phrases, practice them until they’re automatic, and then go use them. The feeling of successfully completing this one tiny transaction builds a foundation of confidence that makes the next step (like asking for a bill) feel possible. It turns an overwhelming mountain into a single, manageable mole-hill.

• Next “What If”: you treated cultural learning like a game where your mission is to be a curious detective or even look at it as a game or fun, instead of trying to be ‘perfect’ or fluent.

  • Your job isn’t to know everything; it’s to observe and ask questions. Instead of worrying about doing the wrong thing at a dinner party (which ends up in hilarity by the way!), you can say to the host beforehand, “I’m so excited to be here and I’m new to your culture. Is there anything I should know to be a good guest?” This approach transforms your ignorance from a liability into an asset. It shows humility and respect, and people are almost always delighted to share their customs and language with someone who is genuinely curious.

What if making mistakes and being a vulnerable beginner isn’t a sign of failure, but the entire point of the experience?

• Deeper What If: What if every time I stumble over a word or commit a faux pas, I’m not being judged, but I’m actively breaking down my own ego and building real, human connection? What if this process isn’t about becoming someone else, but about becoming a more humble, resilient, and open-minded version of myself?”

A True Story Funny: One of my good friends here in Portugal was at dinner with her in-laws and while she was mostly fluent in Portuguese by then she mixed up a “false friend” which are words that sounds like words in your language but they’re NOT! She wanted to ask if there were preservatives in the food they served and taking a stab at the word she thought would be correct, she used “preservativos.” Preservativos in Portuguese means condoms. So she asked her in-laws if there were condoms in the food. 😂

*Another fun false friend is the word constipação which means “to have a cold” in Portuguese.

**And as I’ve written about on several occasions, I’ve accidentally asked for a ‘dick’ both in a bakery and at the pharmacy. It happens. People laugh. It’s kind of an awesome moment and you’ll never make that mistake again!

Roadblock #10: Moving Solo/Loneliness/Lack of Community

Starter’s Block: I’m terrified to move across the world by myself (or with a partner) and end up completely, crushingly alone? I’m scared I’ll fail to build a community and have no one to turn to when things go wrong. This is a huge (and valid) fear.

The Worry: The initial thrill of freedom fades into a quiet, persistent loneliness. Weekends are long and empty. You see groups of friends laughing in cafes and feel a pang of intense isolation. Making friends feels harder than you imagined; everyone seems to already have their own lives.

WHAT IF: your only social goal for this week is to become a ‘regular’ at one local place?

• This isn’t about meeting your new best friend. It’s about fighting anonymity. Pick one coffee shop, bakery, or small market. Go every day. Make eye contact, say “hello” and “thank you” in the local language, and maybe order the same thing. The simple act of being recognized by the barista or owner creates a micro-dot of connection in your new city. It’s a small, repeatable win that proves you belong there.

Personal Story: I have been frequenting the same places (market, bakery, frutaria, manicurist, florist) around my apartment for so long that people have started to open up to me. Store owners talk about their lives and kids with me, my manicurist and I have hour long conversations about life in Portuguese, the florist and I have gone out for coffee. 🤗

Next “What If”: What if I created a ‘Social Prototyping’ schedule for my first three months?

• Don’t just hope to meet people; run structured experiments. Your rule is: you must try one new social activity every single week. A language exchange, a hiking club, a volunteer day, a pottery class, a local sports meet-up like pickleball, yoga or kayaking. The goal isn’t to commit forever; it’s to gather data. After a month, you analyze: Which activities did you genuinely enjoy? Where did you have the easiest conversations? Then, you double down on the promising ones and drop the ones you’re ‘meh’ about. This turns the passive, scary hope of “making friends” into an active, manageable project.

Next What If: What if my only goal this week is to have one, two-minute conversation with a stranger about something other than the weather or a transaction?”

• The goal is not to make a life-long friend; it’s to break the seal of anonymity. Ask the person at the dog park about their dog’s breed. Ask the person at the market where they got the cool bag they’re carrying. Compliment someone on their garden. The objective is a single, low-stakes, genuine human interaction. This proves that connection is possible and begins to build the muscle of initiating conversation.

Next “What If”: What if you used a ‘Hobby as a Bridge’ strategy?

• Instead of trying to make friends in a vacuum, you take the results of your structured experiment (from above) and use a shared interest as the foundation. Either keep going to the pottery class or pickleball meet-up if one of those felt right.

• In addition, actively seek out group dedicated to something else you love. Maybe even something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for. Examples: joining a choir (this will test your language skills for sure), learning to play an instrument, join a hiking club, check out a local board game cafe, join a language exchange meetup, expat meetups, pub crawls, meditation, etc. In these settings, the activity is the focus, which takes the pressure off the conversation. Friendship becomes a natural byproduct of a shared passion, rather than a stressful goal in itself. You’re not there to network or interview potential new friends; you’re there to do the thing you love, and community forms around that.

• Deeper What If: What if this period of loneliness isn’t a problem to be solved, but a curriculum to be studied? What if it’s forcing you, for the first time, to be radically intentional about who you let into your life? Instead of falling into a community by default (through work or geography). You now have the rare chance to build one from the ground up, based purely on shared values, mutual respect, and genuine connection. What if this is how you finally create a circle that truly reflects who you are and who you want to be? —that’s what happened for me!

• Deeper What If: “What if this period of being alone isn’t a sign of failure, but a rare and powerful opportunity for reinvention? What if this solitude is a gift, giving you the space to get to know yourself without the reflection of your old friends, family, and career? What if learning to be your own best friend is the most valuable skill this entire journey is meant to teach you?

Roadblock #11: What Will Others Think/Say or Feel?

Starter’s Block: I’m worried that my friends, family, and colleagues will think I’m being irresponsible, selfish, or just plain crazy? Will their doubts and criticism make me lose my confidence and give up on my dream?

The Concern: The moment you share your dream, you’re met with a barrage of negativity disguised as concern. “Are you sure that’s safe?” “What about healthcare, your parents/kids/me?” “It sounds like you’re just running away from your problems.” “Must be nice.” You feel judged and misunderstood. Every conversation requires you to defend your life choices, and their collective doubt begins to chip away at your resolve until you start to believe their fears are your own.

WHAT IF: before you tell anyone else, you write down your ‘Why’ on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet? Or journal about it or tell the one friend you know will be supportive because they are supportive of everything you do.

• This is not a business plan or a list of pros and cons. This is the deep, emotional core of your dream. “I need to do this because I feel stagnant and I need to feel alive again.” “I want to show my kids that it’s never too late to be brave.”

• When you’re faced with someone’s doubt, you don’t even need to argue. You just need to remember the personal, non-negotiable truth you’re holding in your pocket. It’s your anchor in a storm of opinions.

• Next “What If”: What if you created a communication plan and decided whose opinions actually matter?

  • Not all opinions are created equal. Make a list of the people you need to tell and divide it into two columns:

    1. The “Board of Directors”: These are the 2-3 people whose opinions you truly value and who have earned the right to have a voice in your life. You will have a deep, honest conversation with them.

    2. The “Town Criers”: These are all the other people in your life who will have an opinion but whose approval is not required. For them, you develop a simple, confident, and brief announcement, not an invitation for debate. It sounds like: “I have some exciting news! I’ve decided to move to Lisbon this fall. I’m really looking forward to it.” It’s a statement of fact, not a proposal.

Or better yet… don’t say a word!

If someone doesn’t “need” to know and you’re sure they’ll be negative, you don’t have to tell them!

• Deeper What If: What if the judgment of others is not a reflection of your dream, but a reflection of their own fears and regrets? What if their ‘concern’ is really just their own anxiety about the choices they didn’t make? And what if living a life that inspires a little bit of envy, confusion, or even disapproval is a sign that you’re finally breaking free from the script and living a life that is truly your own? (this is a big one and I want you to really think about this 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽)

Personal Story: When I told people I was moving to Portugal I actually thought they’d be thrilled for me. And why wouldn’t I think that? I am always happy, excited and supportive when other people move abroad or do anything they’ve dreamed of doing. I’ve always been a cheerleader and it didn’t even cross my mind that others would be negative. But sadly, most were. I can count on one hand the number of people who were even happy for me. All those non-supportive comments I wrote above that you may hear from people, including the nasty “must be nice” are just a few of the comments I heard. It got to the point where I stopped talking about it. Hearing all the negatives, and then realizing—often the hard way—that the support I’d given others, celebrating their life changes and being genuinely happy for them, was never really reciprocated. It turned out to be a one-way street. It got lonely, it got hard and I was really sad. Then I focused instead on the handful of people who were truly happy for me. Yes, it limited what I could say and to whom, but I was no longer upset and hurt. This was my solution. What if… you come up with a few of your own?

Roadblock #12: Failure and Regret

Starter’s Block: Okay, so you’re ready to do it all—the planning, the saving, the emotional goodbyes—you uproot your entire life, and then find out it was a colossal mistake? What if you hate it and have to crawl back home a year later, broke and humiliated, filled with nothing but the crushing regret of ever having tried?

You get there, and the fantasy shatters against a harsh reality. The loneliness is crushing, the magic you expected to discover in the hidden cobblestone streets is nowhere to be found. The daily grind is just a different, more difficult version of the one you left. You can’t even find a supermarket….

WHAT IF: you redefined this entire move not as a permanent, pass/fail test, but as a trail, a life sabbatical (1-5 years) or as your ‘just for now place’?

• The words “I’m moving forever” are heavy and final. The words “I’m taking a one-year sabbatical to live abroad” are exploratory and temporary. This simple change in framing completely removes the concept of failure. An experiment cannot fail; it can only produce results. If you decide to come back after a year, you haven’t “failed”—you’ve successfully completed your sabbatical and gathered priceless data about what you truly want in life.

• Next “What If”: What if you sat down and put the two potential regrets on trial against each other?

  • Get a piece of paper. On one side, write “Regret A: The pain of trying and having to come home.” Imagine it fully: the awkward conversations, the financial hit. It’s acute, but it’s a pain that comes from experience.

  • On the other side, write “Regret B: The pain of being 80 years old and never knowing what could have been.” This is a quieter, chronic pain—the ghost of a dream not pursued.

  • Which sentence carries a heavier weight? For most people, the sting of a failed attempt fades, but the haunting question of “What if?” lasts a lifetime.

• Deeper What If: What if the real definition of success isn’t staying there forever, but simply becoming the person who was brave enough to go? What if the skills, resilience, and self-knowledge you gain from navigating this immense challenge are the actual treasure, regardless of the outcome? If the person who comes back is stronger, more interesting, and more sure of what they want from life than the person who left, how could that possibly be considered a failure?

What if you keep asking yourself questions?

Examples in first person:

Excuse/Reason: I can’t leave (insert your home country here) because I own my own home.

Q: What if I sell my home? What if I rent it out?

Q: What’s the worst thing that could happen if I get rid of it? What am I afraid of?

A: I am afraid of dealing with all my belongings. I love my furniture (or insert what you love here).

Q: What if I get a storage unit? What if I ship the furniture to my new country. What if I give my furniture to a trusted sibling or friend?

Q: What else are you afraid of?

A: I’m afraid I won’t like where I move and I’ll have nowhere to return to because I’ll no longer be able to afford it back in (the US/for example).

Q: What if I rent my house out instead.

A: I’m afraid a renter will destroy my house.

Q: What if I move out my most treasured possessions or lock them in the garage? What if I ask for a bigger downpayment? What if I use a vetted management company? What if I ask friends if they know anyone who is looking for a place to rent? What if I rent to someone I know? What if I take out insurance?

Q: What’s the worst thing that could happen…

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Conclusion

Ultimately, the ‘What If’ framework is more than just a tool for planning a move abroad. It’s a method for reclaiming agency over your life’s narrative. It transforms you from a passive worrier, haunted by a thousand anxieties, into an active architect of your own future.

That endless to-do list you were staring at? It hasn’t vanished. The tasks are all still there. But you are no longer frozen, because you see the list not as an avalanche of overwhelm, but as a series of questions you now have the tools to answer. One step at a time.

The fear of moving abroad is rarely about the logistics of the move itself. It is the fear of the unknown, the terror of leaving the familiar behind. But our spirit is often defined by our courage to step into the unknown. By learning to confront your fears, you are not just planning a move, but participating in the age-old human journey of exploration and self-discovery.

Your fears are not stop signs; they are signposts pointing directly to where the most important work needs to be done. Stop admiring the dream and start interrogating the fears that stand in its way. Pick one. Just one. Ask ‘What if?’ and begin.

Resources

• Tanessa Shears of the The Freedom Diaries is a full time digital nomad with her young children!

• Kaila Krayewski was living in Thailand and now Spain with her young son!

• Sarah Bringhurst Familia moved and moved again (several times over) with her kids!

• Language Learning Article

• Traveling with Animals

• Excuses Keeping You in the US and How to Crush Them.

Thank you so much for reading! If you don’t want to become a paid subscriber (my articles will always be free) but enjoyed this article, please consider a one time donation below.

I’m excited to help you make your dream of moving abroad a reality! 🎉

I offer personalized à la carte consultations, packages and a DIY class.

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—If you want to learn another language before you embark (or after) on your new adventure, I highly recommend the platform Preply! It’s what I use to learn Portuguese and it’s also the platform I teach on. Please use my referral code for $17 off your first lesson!

—I use Wise to transfer money internationally between bank accounts and they also offer a free atm card that can be used as a Visa worldwide without fees. Please use my referral code for a free transfer of up to $600.

—Are you interested in being (or finding) a petsitter? I recommend Trusted Housesitters. I’ve use them on multiple occasions with wonderful results

—I’ve started using Kindred Home Exchange in order to secure affordable accommodations! If you’re interested and want to sign up, you will get five nights with my referral code!

—I use SafetyWing for my travel medical insurance abroad. You can check them out here.

—For travel hacking, I use my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card. I earn enough points by using the card regularly (with no foreign transaction fees) to get a “free” RT ticket from Europe to the US at least once a year.

—I use the eSim Nomad. I’ve tried several others, and Nomad is the only one that’s ever worked for me.

—If you’re traveling or moving to a new country, I highly recommend choosing ExpressVPN. It’s the VPN service that I use. Click here for more information and get three extra months on an affordable twelve month subscription.

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If you’re interested in moving abroad but don’t know where to start, check out this series!

The How to Live Abroad Publication is here.

• Part 1—Want to move abroad? Start here!

• Part 2—Conquer your fears about moving abroad!

• Part 3—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 1

• Part 4—12 Minimizing Mistakes Part 2

• Part 5—A Personal Case study (re: Minimizing)

• Part 6—Your Move Abroad: The Ultimate Checklist

Join my Free Subscriber’s Chat!

If you’re on a budget (as am I) please like by clicking on the heart below and share this article with a friend. 

Your support (in all ways) is greatly appreciated! 

—Expat on a Budget (AKA) Living Abroad on a Budget and My Unknown Adventure by Kimberly Anne

*** This article contains a few affiliate links. Using my affiliate links is not required and does not cost you anything extra but I greatly appreciate it, if you do. It’s a (free to you) way to help support my writing.

***Disclaimer: My writing, and podcasts are based on personal experience and are for informational purposes only. I am not a lawyer. Please seek professional advice before making decisions about moving abroad. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use of this information.