Minimalism—12 Minimizing Mistakes and Solutions Part 2 of 2

Part 4 in the Move Abroad Series—Mistakes 7 through 12

This is part 2 of Minimizing Mistakes and part 4 in the series “Move Abroad”.

You can read about mistakes 1-6 here and find the rest of the series here. You can listen to the author read this article here (plus some ad-lib additions!).

You’re ready to tackle one of the hardest parts of this process, getting rid of your “stuff” in order to move forward. I commend you. This is a step you cannot skip! So let’s go over the next six common mistakes people make when minimizing and some solutions.

Mistake Number Seven: Holding Onto "Just In Case" Items and/or Attaching Monetary Value Over Usefulness

One of the biggest traps we fall into when minimizing our lives is holding onto items "just in case" we might need them someday. 

This often stems from a scarcity mindset or a fear of making the "wrong" decision. We convince ourselves that we might need that old gadget, that extra set of towels, or that box of miscellaneous cords “someday," even if we haven’t used any of them in years. 

I had this same issue, you’re not alone. I had at least fifteen ginormous labeled plastic storage bins on shelves above my clothes inside my closet. I had a huge closet in my last apartment and it was packed full. I was an organized hoarder.

When it came time to get rid of everything I was shocked. There were things in those bins I had never used. And I did not need most of the items. I had collected at least two bins full of bags. Some were fancy bags I never used, or everyday purses I had used for a short time and then never again. One was filled with reusable bags I was not reusing because I also had a bin in the trunk of my car full of reusable bags I did use. It was really out of hand. I had kept keys for locks I no longer had and at least fifty keys that I had no idea what they belonged to. I had cords and chargers for items I no longer had. And the list goes on and on and on.

This "just in case" thinking led to an accumulation of unnecessary clutter that took up valuable physical space, and made my move that much more time consuming. 

Your physical clutter can also weigh on you mentally. We become custodians of items we don't use or need, creating a sense of stagnation and making it harder to find and appreciate the things we truly value.

Holding onto items solely because they were expensive, regardless of whether we actually use or enjoy them is a form of “sunk cost bias” aka “sunk cost fallacy”. This is the idea that we’ve spent $ on an item and are thus monetarily invested. We’re worried about “losing” the money we’ve already spent so we end up spending more instead of cutting our losses. This also goes for time. We can keep a failing business open longer than we should (I did this) and lose even more time and money. I lost $25,000 at one point by doing this. We easily fall prey to sunk cost bias because the thought of losing all the time and money we’ve already invested is too emotionally painful.

We might keep a designer dress that no longer fits, a high-tech gadget that's become obsolete, or a piece of furniture that doesn't suit our style simply because we spent a significant amount of money on it. 

This attachment to monetary value over usefulness leads to a home filled with items that don't serve our current needs or bring us fulfillment. Or items we don’t like or need, but keep paying for by packing them up and moving them. Instead, surround yourself with things you love and use regularly, instead of being weighed down by guilt, regret, and a sense of obligation to possessions that no longer reflect who you are or how you live.

Solutions: 

• If it’s an item you haven’t used in awhile, and costs $20 or less to replace, get rid of it.

• If you haven’t used an item in six months or longer, get rid of it. 

• If you can’t bear to part with it but can’t justify keeping it, give it to a good friend on “loan”. 

I did this a lot with my best friend. She would say, “I’m keeping this for you for now but if you ever want it back, just let me know”. And at one point, when I was moving to Portugal I did have to ask her for one of my large suitcases, which she happily gave back.

Mistake Number Eight. Not Disposing of Items Immediately

One common mistake people make when minimizing is not disposing of items immediately. It’s easy to let bags of donations or trash sit around for weeks, whether they’re in a corner of your home or in the trunk of your car. 

This delay can quickly turn into months, cluttering your space and stalling your progress. 

Solution:

Schedule regular trips to donation centers, recycling facilities, or the dump. By making it a habit to dispose of items as soon as possible, you maintain momentum and prevent clutter from creeping back into your life. Setting a specific day each week for disposal can help ensure that unwanted items don’t linger.

With the boxes of books I was donating for example, I put a box in my car every time I was driving by the library that accepted donations. 

Mistake Number Nine: Being Too Hard on Yourself

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you’re stressed and doing something new is being too hard on yourself. 

This often manifests as setting unrealistic expectations and then becoming overly critical of your own progress. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others or focusing solely on the end goal, leading to feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

For example, imagine you're learning a new language. You might set an unrealistic goal of fluency within a few months. When you inevitably find yourself struggling with grammar or pronunciation, you start feeling discouraged. The process feels slow and arduous, making you question your abilities and potentially leading to giving up altogether. And if you are learning a new language, please check out the article I wrote about that here.

The key to overcoming this mistake is cultivating self-compassion. 

Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that new habits take time and effort. 

Instead of focusing on perfection, celebrate the small victories along the way. Did you throw out one large bag of trash? Did you donate a box of old bags?

These are all signs of progress, no matter how incremental they may seem. By acknowledging your efforts and celebrating your achievements, you create a positive feedback loop that fosters motivation and encourages continued learning.

Solutions:

Be patient and kind to yourself. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge your progress, no matter how incremental.

Celebrating small victories is a fantastic habit for staying motivated and engaged in your learning journey. I recommend a few ways to celebrate and reward yourself at the end of this article. 

Mistake Number Ten: Not Involving the Household

If you live with one other person or more, these people have also contributed to the accumulation of items. And each person will have their own attachment issues and emotions about what to let go of.

For instance, you might be tempted to get rid of your partner’s books or toiletries, discarding items you deem unnecessary. However, this can lead to conflict and resentment if you get rid of things that other person or people value or feel attached to, even if they haven't used those items in a while.

Solutions:

Communication and collaboration. Before embarking on a minimizing spree, involve everyone in the household. Have open conversations about your final goals so everyone is in the same mind-set. If your reasons for this are to move to a new country, city or house within your same area, focus on that. Remind them of the end goal. Get them excited and re-invigorized to commit to this step of the process. Respecting each other's belongings and making joint decisions about what to keep, donate, or discard will foster a more harmonious and successful decluttering experience.

Mistake Number Eleven: Minimizing When Emotional

While the urge to minimize might arise during moments of stress or emotional upheaval, tackling this task when you're not in the right headspace can be counterproductive. 

Minimizing requires a clear mind and objective decision-making. When you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained, you're more likely to make impulsive choices that you might regret later.

For example, imagine you're feeling overwhelmed by a stressful week. You decide to minimize your closet as a way to regain a sense of control. However, in your emotionally charged state, you might start discarding items you normally cherish, simply because you're not thinking clearly. Conversely, you might cling to items with sentimental value, even if they no longer serve you, because you're seeking comfort in familiarity.

Solutions:

• Choose a time to declutter when you feel calm and clear-headed. Take breaks if you start feeling overwhelmed.

• Approach this as a mindful activity which is best undertaken when you're feeling calm, focused, and emotionally balanced. 

• Pay attention to your energy levels and emotional state. If you're feeling stressed, tired, or emotionally fragile, postpone your sessions for another time. 

• Choose a day when you feel well-rested, clear-headed, and able to make thoughtful decisions about your belongings. 

Mistake Number Twelve. Not Asking for Help When Needed

Many people approach decluttering as a solitary endeavor, feeling pressure to tackle the task entirely on their own. 

However, decluttering, especially when dealing with a large space or a significant accumulation of items, can be physically and emotionally demanding. 

Trying to do everything yourself can lead to burnout, frustration, and ultimately, abandoning the process altogether.

Imagine you're faced with a garage overflowing with years' worth of accumulated belongings. You start enthusiastically but soon find yourself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of stuff, unsure of where to begin or how to make decisions about what to keep and what to let go. Heavy boxes, sentimental items, and the weight of the task itself can feel insurmountable when you're tackling it alone.

Ask for help when you need it.

A fresh perspective can be invaluable, providing objective insights, practical assistance, and emotional support. Friends can offer encouragement and help you power through difficult decisions. I had several such friends help me and I have so much gratitude for them all.

One friend came and sat with me while I organized my give away and sell boxes. She also took a lot of my clothing because we were the same size and everything looked great on her. My upstairs neighbor, who was an absolute angel, came down during my final week to help me with those last few “little things” I had left that I no longer had the mental capacity to deal with. She also volunteered to take my final bags and boxes to charity for me. Another friend showed up for two days last year at my storage unit to help me get rid of items I had stored there. She drove three hours each day to come help me organize and purge. It was my final push and while I could have done it alone, I’m so glad I didn’t have to!

Back when I was living in California and could afford it, I hired a professional organizer once a year to bring her expertise in sorting, organizing, and maximizing space. She was amazing and if it’s in your budget, I recommend you looking into hiring one.

Solution:

Reach out to friends, family members, or even professional organizers (if you can afford one). 

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of self-awareness and a commitment to creating a more functional and fulfilling future life adventure.

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I’m so excited for you to embark on this part of your journey. It’s active, it’s rewarding and it’s an absolute must. 

Please reward yourself after each big or little win!

You can reward yourself with tangible items like:

• Treating yourself to a small indulgence such as a favorite snack, or a coffee from a special cafe. —Please don’t buy any new (non-edible) items as a reward that you’ll just have to get rid of!

• Checkmarks & Trackers: Use a visual tracker (planner, whiteboard, app) to mark off milestones. Using gold stars in a day planner is super fun! Seeing your progress visually can be incredibly motivating.

Experiential Rewards:

• Breaks & Fun: After achieving a milestone, take a well-deserved break to do something enjoyable and unrelated to your minimizing efforts. Such as: taking a long walk in nature, going to the beach, going for a bike ride, going to the movies or a museum, meeting a friend for lunch…

• Sharing with Others: Tell a friend, family member, or mentor about your accomplishment. Sharing your success with someone supportive can amplify the feeling of achievement.

• Engaging in a Hobby: Dedicate some time to a hobby you love after a productive minimizing session. It's a great way to relax and recharge. Such as: Playing music, painting, sculpture, knitting, playing video games! 

Intrinsic Rewards:

• Reflection & Journaling: Take a moment to reflect on your progress. Write down what you've learned, how far you've come, and what you're proud of.

• Visualization: Visualize yourself successfully achieving your ultimate minimizing goal. Seeing yourself in your new country, home or in your fully organized house/apartment. This can boost your confidence and motivation.

• Positive Self-Talk: Acknowledge your efforts and celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Tell yourself, "I did it!", "I'm making progress!", or "I'm proud of myself for sticking with it."

Remember, the best way to celebrate is to choose methods that resonate with you and feel genuinely rewarding. Experiment with different approaches and find what works best for you.

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